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3月31日 Slice Of Life - Saturday Seven
1. SWEET CHARITY
We went to the Broadway Musical, Sweet Charity starring Molly Ringwold ( Molly Ringwald as Sweet Charity - www.sweetcharityontour.com ) last night. The play was good. Molly Ringwald is no Liza Minelli, but she did play Annie when she was a little girl ... I can see that ... Can't you? I found myself asking ... Why is a play in Greenville, SC, called a BROADWAY musical. I'm pretty sure Greenville, SC, is WAY OFF BROADWAY!
2. A BUMP IN THE ROAD On the way to the play, traffic on the Interstate slowed to a crawl. I weaved in and through traffic (running late as usual) and when I got to the front of the pack, I looked over and saw four young Mexican men in a car that was way too old to even be on the road, driving slow but probably as fast as they could in the passing lane. They looked scared and confused. I felt sorry for them. I'm not sure they knew their car or the rules of the road and yet, the GREAT STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA will issue a Driver's License to anyone, without a birth certificate or a permanent address! That will end up biting them in the butt, but how many lives will it cost on the roads first? Man, our country needs to get a handle on this stuff! 3. KIDS ARE KIDS Seeing those boys made me think ... If I were Mexican, would I want those boys to be representative of my race or would I be embarrassed? I know race is a HOT POTATO SUBJECT, but it's okay for me to have these thoughts run through my mind because I'm the only one in there! Kids are kids. As you might imagine, race is a big deal in South Carolina. It's hard to go anywhere and not hear someone look at a kid doing something stupid and mutter a racial slur under their breath ... and sad to say, those mutterings come from all races about all races, so nobody's left out ... BUT kids are kids. We can find bad ones if we look for them, but we can find good ones too of all races ... When I see someone doing something odd, I try to think of possible "other sides of the story" like maybe, those boys were on their way to Greenville because they had just found out their Mom was in the hospital? They looked scared because they were worried about their Mom ... It is possible. After doing this for a while, people don't seem so odd to me anymore ... They're just doing the best they can with what they have got at the time.
4. SOCKS I got up this morning and did laundry. Not an exciting Saturday morning, but necessary, just the same. I noticed their was lint on the other side of the lint trap too. I pulled it out and looked inside the place where lint goes and it's full, even after emptying the lint trap every time! I got out the vacuum and got a bunch of it, the whole time wondering where in the world does all the lint come from?!!! No wonder clothes get thinner and thinner as we wash them! They are losing little fibers with every wash! And while I'm wondering ... Where DO all those socks go?
5. SHOES Speaking of socks, have you ever noticed all the shoes laying on the sides of the road? Did you ever wonder why they were there? How does that happen? Possible ways could be:
1. Someone set them on the trunk or back bumper and forgot about them?
2. Someone wore comfortable shoes to church, wedding, funeral, party and changed into the "good uncomfortable ones" when they went inside and forgot they left the other pair on top of the car? 3. Someone got mad at their brother or sister and threw their "stinky old shoe" out the window?
4. Someone had their foot hanging out the window and their shoe fell off? 5. Snooze ... You lose? 6. Someone was cleaning out their car and accidentally threw their shoes out worth the rest of the trash? (litterbugs make me CRAZY!!!) 7. Someone took being barefoot and pregnant seriously? I don't know ... but someone could make a living collecting all the shoes and hubcaps and reselling them to people looking for matches ... like Replacements (the china and silver company that can match the sets you already have). They could call it HUBS & SHOES ... for the ones you lose ... 6. POLLEN-HATED I dusted again today ... for the THIRD time this week! We don't leave the doors or windows open with all the pollen, but somehow it gets in! We rinse our cars off every morning and every night and still they get covered. Joey and I don't have allergies (thank goodness) but the amount of pollen is bothersome anyway. It gets in our eyes and feels like grit or sand. We are clearing our throats more, sneezing occasionally, and coughing when we get too big of a whiff ... Now, I know all THOSE are symptoms of allergies, but we are the lucky ones ... People with REAL allergies are wearing masks if they are outdoors for any time at all, have red, swollen eyes, drippy noses, cold and flu symptoms and have a hard time breathing at all ... My heart goes out to them. It makes me want to carry home-made chicken soup to every one I know that suffers so. 7. COOKING SHOW WE WOULDN'T MISS Speaking of cooking ... We have a new favorite. It's not Wolfgang Puck or Emeril. We love the Food Network, but nothing they have is as funny as this show. Tammy Faye (Bakker) Messner has a cooking show on the local religious channel, WGGS (also WATC in Atlanta), called You Can Make It
You see, Tammy Faye can NOT cook ... anything ... not toast ... not boil water ... not even spread butter on a cracker! She is there to learn, I think, but in an effort to make conversation, she says the funniest things like ... (when introducing a friend) This is my friend who has always believed in me. He called me up and invited me to his outdoor flea market in Missouri to perform for the people there. He told me he had the biggest thing in Missouri and he was right. I went there and his love just filled me up.
Did she just say what I think she said? (on buttering a roll)
Now, could you use any knife?
... and the other guy talked for 5 minutes about using any knife except for one that was fresh out of the dishwasher because it would be so hot ... She interrupted, "Will it burn the butter?" "No, Tammy, let me show you ... if you heat up this knife and try to butter the bread, the butter will just slide off."
Oh! That's a really good tip! Always use a cool knife when you are spreading butter!" (on making chili) They forgot to turn the stove on the hamburger meat so it wasn't cooking at all while they talked. Tammy kept stirring the meat and said,
"This isn't going to be very good with raw meat. Am I doing something wrong?"
The woman with her said, "Why, Tammy, you forgot to turn the stove on!"
Tammy said, "Well, what do we do? Can we still use the meat?" Today, she interviewed a local Sushi Chef. He's somewhat of a celebrity in our area and he graciously showed them how to prepare sushi. When it came time to taste his food, Tammy put his food up to take a bite and said, "I'm sorry. I just can't eat this. I just can't. I'll eat the rice, but I can't eat this." She could have quietly stood back while the others tasted it but she went ON AND ON, and the Sushi Chef started twitching every time Tammy said, "I couldn't eat this." We laughed so hard, we almost fell out of our chairs. They went to a commercial break and the CHEF was NOT there when they came back on ... Tammy Faye is from Minnesota originally (same state as I grew up in) and she still has the very rural Scandinavian flavored accent from back home. She must be the only woman raised in Minnesota that CAN'T cook (shaking my head), but she doesn't let that stop her from hosting YOU CAN MAKE IT. Every Saturday, on WGGS, she lives what every one in Minnesota already knows "You can always tell a Scandinavian, but you can't tell them MUCH"! But we are a happy people ... lol ... and she rambles into the funniest things. She talks about how much she loves to shop and how much she like shoes while she's making basic recipes like cornbread and barbecue. It's great. Well, there you have it ... seven things from my REAL life! Don't you wish you could stop by for a cup of coffee and a piece of pie? I'd love to have you over! Look at the things we would talk about! 3月29日 Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder that's triggered by your memories of a traumatic event — an event that directly affected you or an event that you witnessed.
Not everyone involved in a traumatic event experiences post-traumatic stress disorder. However, the disorder affects more than 5 million adults each year in the United States. You or someone you know may experience trauma at some time in your life! Learning about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can help you: Cope with Trauma and / or help others. Signs and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder typically appear within three months of the traumatic event. However, in some instances, they may not occur until years after the event and may include:
(The info above is from a booklet about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder put out by Blount Memorial Hospital in Maryville, Tennessee) The severity of the traumatic event and how long the event lasted appear to be factors in the development of this disorder. Other factors that may increase the likelihood of developing post-traumatic stress disorder include:
When to seek medical advice?
It's normal to undergo a wide range of feelings and emotions after a traumatic event. The feelings you experience may include fear and anxiety, a lack of focus, sadness, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, or bouts of crying that come easily. You may have recurrent thoughts or nightmares about the event. If you have these disturbing feelings for more than a month, if they're severe or if you feel you're having trouble getting your life back under control, consider seeing your doctor or a mental health professional. Screening and diagnosis
Your doctor or mental health professional likely will ask you to describe the signs and symptoms you're experiencing — what they are, when they occur, how intense they are and how long they last. This will help your doctor or therapist learn more about your condition. Your doctor may also ask you to describe the event that triggered your symptoms to try to get a sense of how intense the event was and how it affected you. You may encounter some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after a traumatic event, but you may not necessarily have a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. Diagnosing the condition requires that the symptoms be present longer than one month. Complications
Having post-traumatic stress disorder may place you at higher risk for:
Treatment
Your doctor or a mental health professional may suggest a combination of medications and behavior therapy to treat post-traumatic stress disorder. The objectives of treatment are to reduce your emotional distress and the associated disturbances to your sleep and daily functioning, and to help you better cope with the event that triggered the disorder. Coping skills If distress caused by a past traumatic event persistently affects your life, seeing your doctor is a necessary first step along a course of professional treatment.
Recovery Takes Time PTSD symptoms usually appear within several weeks of the trauma, but some people don't experience symptoms until months, even years, later. PTSD can last six months for some people while others may experience symptoms for much longer. Again, it is important to understand that people respond differently to trauma. Some people will have a few problems, and these problems may go away without treatment. Others will need support and some kind of treatment before they can move forward with their lives.
3月28日 What If You Could Make The Hurt Go Away?
Are you hurting? Has something just happened to you or someone you love? Have you been carrying hurt for too long? Have you ever wished you could just make it go away? You can! Did you know that there are things you can do to stop the hurt? There are! I want to tell you about a therapy that worked for me because maybe, it might work for you too? I remember hearing about this being used with combat veterans who had suffered with Post Traumatic Stress for years, even decades ... I am not a combat veteran, but I did suffer from the effects of Post Traumatic Stress, and this therapy gave me a lot of real HEALING. Maybe, It can help you too? Let's talk about it ... EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) is a specialized form of psychotherapy that is used almost exclusively for treating PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and its associated conditions, including depression. EMDR typically is integrated into a conventional psychotherapy regimen and is not used alone to treat PTSD. The theory behind EMDR is that stimulated rapid eye movement may help in the psychological processing of trauma. It is thought that the day's events and our reactions to them are processed during REM sleep . In a controlled EMDR session, moving light is used to induce rapid eye movement. Positive therapeutic results with EMDR have been reported with a wide range of populations including the following:
There are more controlled studies on EMDR than on any other method used in the treatment of PTSD. EMDR, or "Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing" is a technique which utilizes a characteristic motion of the eyes in conjunction with therapeutic guidance to bring about emotional healing at an accelerated rate. Although not part of the original EMDR teachings, clinical experiences have repeatedly demonstrated that EMDR also helps accelerate the physical healing process. EMDR has been used by trained mental health professionals since 1989. Its originator, Francine Shapiro PhD, discovered that moving her eyes in certain directions reduced emotional tension. Integrating her clinical experience, Francine has formulated a unique method which she calls EMDR Anyone who has ever experienced an upset that they have not recovered from. Often these people have one or more of the following symptoms in varying degrees: feeling "stuck", excess stress/tension, depression, anxiety, restlessness, sleep trouble, fatigue, appetite disturbances, and ongoing physical health concerns despite treatment. In the more severe cases: panic attacks, flashbacks, nightmares, obsessions, compulsions, eating disorder, and suicidal tendencies.
On the physical health front, EMDR is also a wonderful technique to assist with the healing of any physical health concern. When an upset is experienced, it can become locked in the nervous system with the original picture, sounds, thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. This upset is stored in the brain (and also the body) in an isolated memory network preventing learning from taking place. Old material just keeps getting triggered over & over again and you end up feeling "stuck" emotionally. In another part of your brain, in a separate network, is most of the information you need to resolve the upset. It's just prevented from linking up to the old stuff. Once processing starts with EMDR, the 2 networks can link up. New information can then come to mind to resolve the old problems. When compared to other methods of therapy (psychoanalysis, cognitive, behavioral, etc), EMDR has been rated as far more effective by mental health professionals. Clients experience emotional healing at an accelerated rate. If we use the metaphor of a driving a car through a tunnel to get to the other side, (where the tunnel represents the journey of healing and the other side of the tunnel represents the healed state), EMDR is like driving your car through the tunnel at very high speeds. Because of this accelerated processing, you should notice improvement within each session.
EMDR focuses first on the past, second on the present and third on the future. The past is focused on first because it is the past unresolved pain (whether it is childhood or the more recent past) which is causing pain in the present. Dealing with the past is therefore going to the root of the problem. For example, if a client comes in with depression and she has a history of being depressed since a death in her family, we would focus on the time around the death first because it is the root of the depression.
Once the past pain has been cleared, most of the present symptom picture will also be cleared. If anything is left unresolved in the present, it is attended to next.
Then comes preparation for the future. Many people have fears about healing ... how their life will change, how they will function with their new perspective on the world, etc. "Future" work is about being prepared. Before any EMDR treatment, there is a preparation & assessment phase. The purpose of the preparation phase is to help you feel safe within yourself and to explain and demonstrate EMDR techniques so you know what to expect. The purpose of the assessment phase is to isolate memories to work with in EMDR that are the root of your emotional/physical pain today. The length of time for each of these phases varies per person dependant upon their individual needs.
Once the preparation and assessment phases are complete, the treatment phase begins. You will be asked to focus on a "target" image (one selected together during the assessment phase) while following the practioners fingers (open palm of hand or a pen) with your eyes. Once you start the eye movement, you will find it very difficult to focus on the memory. This is normal. The initial focusing on the memory opens the door to the memory, the EMDR completes the processing on a deeper subconscious level. EMDR is a passive process. Just will be asked to just let whatever happens, happen. You may experience feelings, thoughts, body sensations. You may experience nothing. Whatever you experience, you will be asked to notice it as if you were passing by it on a train rather than being within the experience. If at any time you feel overwhelmed, you only need to raise your hand to stop the process. You will be asked to share what comes up in the break between sets. There are no right or wrong answers.
Your feelings surrounding a given event will be rated by you (from 1-10) both prior to and after EMDR treatment. The aim of every EMDR session is noticeable improvement by the time you leave the session. Sessions are done in either 60 or 90 min intervals. Dr. Shapiro recommends once per week if possible. However, I believe that frequency is about what ultimately feels comfortable for you. It is important to note that EMDR is always done in the context of an overall therapy plan. The EMDR time portion itself varies for each individual. Starting off with at least 3 sessions of EMDR will give you some idea of its effectiveness for you and the rate at which you are healing. From there it is dependant upon your individual needs and situation.
Source: Julie Pegg ND, RPC Naturopathic Doctor, Registered Counselor Take Care Of YOU! 3月27日 Spring & Summer At The Same Time !!!Spring and Summer are here at the same time at HEALING Creek!!! Just last week, we had the first signs of spring with the yellow bells peaking through the winter gray.  And then, breaking all previous high temperature records ... It was 95 degrees on Sunday!!! Global warming?
(Have to wonder a little bit what August is going to be like?) Spring flowers drooped, green leaves are popping out everywhere and summer flowers are already starting to bud!  My youngest granddaughter came to play this weekend. I have a box of old hats and scarves. There's nothing like laughing and playing dress-up with a four year old! Even a tea party with girl scout cookies can seem like the perfect day!  One of my chores this weekend was to get all the flower pots, wash and rinse them, uncover some of the ones that I had stored over winter, and get them ready for this year's growing season. I hadn't noticed before then, that two forgotten tulip bulbs had bloomed!  What a sweet surprise! I love tulips. Happy Spring or Happy Summer (take your pick) and LOTS of HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZZZ from me to you!!! 3月25日 Crossing Over
I've walked too many friends to the edge of today ...
A few deaths turned into a few more ...
Here I am again,
Asking someone I love, "We're almost to the end, aren't we?" I could hear her tired sigh, "I think so." The quiet place between sentences. "Is there any thing I can do?" "Not anything I can think of?"
"Is there anything you need?"
Another tired sigh, "Pray that God gives me strength."
The quiet place between sentences.
I feel so small and helpless ... I wish I could take the pain away. I bow my head and shut my eyes, Praying for strength ... for her and for me. The quiet place between sentences. There's peace in knowing her pain will soon be over As I watch her ... Crossin over to Home ...
In the wide open, sweet someday ...
 3月24日 Have you traded EMPTY for EMPTY?I have mentioned this singer/songwriter a few times ... a singer from North Carolina (just learned he's originally from Ohio) named David Wilcox. He is a talented musician and a gifted poet. His words spoke to parts of my journey and maybe to parts of yours? My favorite line in this song was "trading empty for empty" because it described something I did too many times, expecting someone else to fill me up ... Those broken cups in ourselves and others can be mended and repaired, but it's up to each of us to work on our own cup and not try to mend everyone else's. Until we do our own work ... we'll just be "trading empty for empty". What good is that? It didn't do much for me. Probably didn't do much for you either.
BREAK IN THE CUP
I try so hard to please you, 3月23日 Inside My HeadI have mentioned this singer/songwriter a few times ... a singer from North Carolina (just learned he's originally from Ohio) named David Wilcox. He is a talented musician and a gifted poet. His words spoke to parts of my journey and maybe to parts of yours? I wrote about this very thing a few days ago ... about the need to clear out the clutter in our minds that weighs us down and holds us back.
I got such a mess between my ears, 3月22日 A Reminder: Food Safety And Your HealthI received this email today and thought I'd pass it along to you. I did see the news shot of a dozen or more rats scurrying around a closed New York City Taco Bell/Kentucky Fried Chicken. It doesn't just happen in New York City though. I was waiting in line at a Burger King Drive-Thru when I saw a rat running along the bricks between the cars and the building. I'm sure I am not the only one that passed on eating there that day! We have had several news alerts on tv in the past six months concerning recalls on food or warnings not to eat bagged spinach or onions ... Food Safety is always a good idea. I have always assumed that the FDA and USDA would protect our food supply. I have taken a lot of things for granted. Warnings like these remind me to take extra care in my home when I am preparing my family's food. I'm sharing this email as a reminder to you too. When I was a little girl, I used to follow my grandmother all around the kitchen. One of the things she always did was wash the lids off cans when she brought them home from the grocery store and before she ever opened them. This is a habit I observed in her all throughout my life and she continues to do it to this day. My relatives always inquired why she did it and she said it's something she thought she should do; you never know what happens to the cans in the stores or warehouses. Because of that, when I used to drink soda, I never drank directly from the can, I always used a straw. It turns out that my grandma may have known a thing or two.....
Yesterday evening, at 5:46pm in St. James, Trinidad, my uncle Derrick Mollineau, died of complications due to leptospirosis - an infection from the leptospira bacterium from rat excrement (feces or urine). Less than a week ago (last Tuesday or Wednesday), my uncle unfortunately ate a cheese sandwich, that after consuming about 3/4 of it, he realized had rat droppings on the bread. My uncle became sick, and went to the doctor who told him that he had a case of the cold that was going around. My uncle quickly became lethargic, all his muscles aches and by Friday, was completely bed ridden, did not have a urine or bowel movement for several days and began turning yellow. His family thought that he had jaundice and he was taken to the hospital. The fact that he had eaten that sandwich was not top of mind, and my uncle did not tell the doctors upon his arrival. However, upon further analysis of his blood, the doctors determined that he had leptospirosis. The infection had spread thorough out his body, and they had to flush his system as kidney and liver failure was imminent. On Sunday, it appeared that he was making a turn for the better; but when my uncle Carlton visited him yesterday afternoon he thought differently. He noticed that my uncle Derrick's gums were bleeding and notified the nurses as he did not think this was a good sign - based upon what he read about the infection on the internet over the weekend. The doctors decided that my uncle Derrick needed to be put on dialysis immediately; and as they transported him from his hospital room to the dialysis room, he passed away.
According to WebMD:
Leptospirosis is an infectious disease that affects humans and animals. It results in a wide range of symptoms, and some people may have no symptoms at all. It is caused by a spiral-shaped bacterium (spirochete). Symptoms include high fever, chills, muscle aches, headache, vomiting, diarrhea, and jaundice (yellow skin and eyes). (My uncle had all of these....)
A definitive diagnosis requires laboratory testing of a blood or urine sample. Early detection is important because the disease can cause serious complications if not treated early in its course. These include kidney damage (nephrosis), meningitis (inflammation of the tissue around the brain or spinal cord), respiratory distress and/or liver failure. Within 5-6 days, my uncle Derrick, who had been an exuberant, friendly, outgoing person had succommed to an infection that few know about. While most people who are infected do recover, my uncle's quick demise was partially due to a compromised immune system from multiple years of drug use. Even though he had quit several years ago - the damage was already done.
Several years ago, there was information about infections from rat urine on soda cans that was tagged as "urban legends". More recently, several NYC restaurants were closed due to rat infestations ... Many of us shop at warehouses - Costco, BJs, Sam's; supermarkets etc. and we don't know what goes on in the back. I caution you to be more mindful of the things you purchase, how you store them and how you clean them before use.
For more information on Leptospirosis, visit http://www.leptospirosis.org/medical/overview.php
With all of the recent food scares about ecoli found on fruit and vegetables, I have been taking extra care to wash and rinse the fruit and vegetables in my home, no matter where I buy them. Perhaps, it's a good idea to do the same with bottles and cans when they come into the house. There was a time I would have thought I was just being paranoid ... Now, I think it's just being safe. Take care of you. 3月21日 Clearing The Fog
It's foggy today. Gray and thick, the woods would make the perfect setting for a mystery novel today. I sat on the back porch drinking tea and listening to the birds, hearing them before they appeared in the mist. I smiled to myself, still thinking of my woods as a movie set, they wouldn't have to use the fade effect today. How interesting it is that when the fog limits my view, it also magnifies sound. The river and the waterfall almost sound closer and I can hear the neighbor working in the barn. She's singing something, but I can't quite catch the tune. I hear a screen door slam at my other neighbor's house and he's talking to his dogs. My neighbors don't live close at all so this is a treat to hear other people's every day float up the hill. The wind in the trees usually muffles those neighborly sounds but there is no wind this morning. Just the sound of birds, neighbors, the creek and the waterfall ... (taking a deep breath) I think I smell rain. We have been working up the gardens and a little rain would add to the mix before we plant this weekend. The thought of planting put me back on task. I have a pretty long list of things I want to get done today. As much as I don't want to leave the porch and the sounds of morning, I have to check my mail, write a note to you and head out before the rain!
I have enjoyed my foggy morning with fade effects, but not every one likes the fog. It isn't fun to drive in, that's for sure! My friend sent me this email from the Daily OM yesterday and it's foggy today. Maybe, I could request a Daily Om on sunshine for tomorrow? LOL ... It couldn't hurt! Coming Out Of A Haze (Fog) When we feel muddled and unfocused, unsure of which way to turn, we say we are in a fog. Similar to when we are in a fog in nature, we may feel like we can't see where we're going or where we've come from, and we're afraid if we move too quickly we might run into something hidden in the mists that seem to surround us. Being in a fog necessarily slows us down by limiting our visibility. The best choice may be to pull over and wait for the murkiness to clear. If we move at all, we must go slowly, feeling our way and keeping our eyes open for shapes emerging from the haze, perhaps relying on the taillights of someone in front of us as we make our way along the road. 3月19日 Make It A Good Day !!!
I saw a little book that was titled 2000 Things You Can Do To Cheer Yourself Up. I remember flipping through the pages and smiling at some of the ideas. What if we did that? What if we really did one thing every day just for us? What would happen if we gave our self 10 minutes just for us? What if we gave our self one simple little pleasure? It wouldn't have to take a lot of time or money ... It really is the thought that counts! You could ... Start off the day with some sort of exercise: a walk, the treadmill, a swim, maybe, exercise or a yoga tape. Give yourself a mini-spa! Light a candle and use a scented body wash that you absolutely love. Play some music to calm you down or get you going ... your choice! Or if there's time, what about a long, hot bubble bath ... I found some bath salts with rose petals in them! Wonderful! Bed, Bath and Beyond sells fancy towel warmers, but you can do the same thing ... just put your towel in the dryer right before you get in the shower! A warm towel is oh so delicious!!! When you get out of the shower and dry down, cover yourself in lotion or a nice talc. Whatever you do, take your time. This is your extra ten minutes ... a little gift you are giving yourself! Sometimes, I pour a glass of juice in my favorite juice glass. The glass is from the 50s and has the cutest little tulips all around it. I have it waiting for me when I get out of the shower on a little tray with my vitamins. Some mornings, I have a cup of herbal tea or decaffeinated coffee on the back porch. I can hear the birds singing and the river down the hill or the wind chimes. Sometimes, I just watch the birds or read a few pages of a good book or both! Good books? I got hooked on reading when I was a kid. I LOVE BOOKS! I am usually reading 3-4 at the same time. One for work, one for self improvement, and usually a novel, just to lighten things up. Reading was my life-line in the beginning of recovery. I don't know how much I retained back then, but just the act of reading was a comfort to me. I have a piece of cinnamon toast every morning. I love cinnamon toast! My daughter likes to start her day with a bagel. My other daughter likes waffles and jam. My grandkids like pop tarts! Forget about your "usual uniform" that you wear every day and for today, wear something really comfortable or something that just makes you feel pretty. Spice up what you are wearing with a piece of jewelry or a silk scarf. It will make you feel pretty and when we feel pretty, we are pretty! It comes from the inside! It's not the scarf or the jewelry. It's how we feel wearing the scarf or jewelry! I have to admit ... a cute pair of boots, heels, or even a cute pair of shoes makes me feel pretty good too! Speaking of feet, getting a pedicure can be one of those little gifts we give ourselves! Why not get a manicure at the same time? If you like to cook, how about baking a cake or cookies? I like making a really good roast (I love to get a beef or lamb roast and cover the roast with a small jar of minced garlic and bake it covered at 300-degrees for hours ... the house smells so good!) or a vegetable casserole or a seafood pasta ... pick something you LOVE ... In the winter, I make a lot of hearty soups, stews or even chili in the crock pot, and let them cook all day. It feels so good to come home with the smell of good home cooking already there. Fabreeze has a new home-spray. Sometimes, I make more time by picking up the clutter and straightening things up a little and then, I spray the rooms ... It feels like I have hired a whole cleaning crew with very little effort! Shhh ~ I can't do it every week, but every once in a while ~ There are more important things than a perfect house! Do you like to sew? Can you crochet or knit? Have you seen the cool yarn they have now? Do you embroider? Can you paint? Have you seen the beads people are using to make jewelry? They sell real gold and real silver beads and semi-precious stones now! Have you gotten into scrap booking? Visit a craft store! I bet there is something you would love to do! Jigsaw puzzles are fun! Crossword puzzles too! In the winter time, a cup of Cocoa or a cup of Russian Tea chase the chill away. How do you turn a hot drink into your special ten minutes? Wrap up in a thick afghan or quilt and drink it outside on a swing or a rocking chair! Listen to the birds. Watch the wind play in your trees. Breath in the world around you! I have mentioned birds a few times. I have two or three bird feeders and just as many bird baths. I get LOTS of birds and quite a few pesky squirrels too. I live in the woods in the country so I have watched deer, rabbits, raccoons, squirrels and even flying squirrels at night! I have seen flocks of wild turkeys, a blue heron, red tailed hawks and song birds of every sort. Did you know that plain old sparrows have the prettiest songs? I think there's a life lesson in there somewhere! And then, there's always chocolate! The really good, creamy, to die for chocolate. Find your favorite little corner of the world and enjoy a piece of chocolate. Let your mind wander. Or if you can, let your mind just go blank! Let it melt in your mouth. Sometimes, I play music ... we all have our favorites. Music makes my chores go quicker. Music also makes a quiet meal more special ... Sometimes, I find myself humming through the day ... There is so much comfort (and safety) in our homes, but there are fun things to do outside our homes. I like to visit home improvement stores. They are always coming up with new gadgets. I find the neatest ideas! I also like to go to card stores. I'm don't always go to buy a card. Sometimes, I like to read cards, just to smile. I have been reading cards and laughing out loud more times than I can count, and a laugh is always a good thing! Of course, I like Barnes and Noble ... and the coffee treats! I like to fish! I live near a river. I have walked down there and dropped in a line. Sometimes, I catch a few. Sometimes, I don't. I don't keep the fish ... always throw them back. The fun is catching them! Looking forward ... In recovery, we spend a lot of time looking back. Then, we begin to see the value in living for today, one day at a time. Then, we get the idea that we can actually do things to make THIS DAY more than just another day to be endured. We can find a way to do something nice for ourselves TODAY. Maybe tomorrow too? If you find a way to give yourself a little gift of time or a simple pleasure everyday ... and you do it long enough ... it will become a habit that enriches your life. One day, out of nowhere, you might even forget about your past, be thankful for today, and even look forward to tomorrow ... We can all get there ... Make it a good day !!! 3月17日 Happy St. Patrick's Day !!!
May you have:
the darkest threads seeping in with no explanation
carving canyons as if to destroy
morphing and intermingling in perfect alchemy
extraordinary strides or ordinary baby steps
and still here I am a half finished masterpiece facing another half-finished masterpiece
that seems to complete mine.
Come stand close to me.
How can this be?
We have come from different places
and different threads fill our tapestries
but whoever painted your side
seems to have painted mine. (this is the place where fireworks should be) I can look back now and be glad for every step!
I can see how every color, the dark and the bright
compliment your colors just exactly right.
I never would have imagined or even dared to dream
that everything had a reason
not always what it seemed When I hoped for my happy ending I never even knew
there could be someone as good as you
How could I have ever known
that every step and misstep brought me straight to you?
You are my happy ending.
You are my dream come true. You are my favorite part of the story that is me
the part where two hearts join hands
stroll off into the sunset
dance under the stars and rest in each other's arms.
This is the place where we dream new dreams
much bigger than before.
We're tried and tested, healed and rested,
embracing life and asking for more!
  3月16日 ASK FOR MOREI have mentioned this singer/songwriter before ... a singer from North Carolina named David Wilcox. He is a talented musician and a gifted poet. His words spoke to parts of my journey and maybe to parts of yours?
3月15日 Living The Life You Want
Physicists tell us that once an atom has touched another atom, there is a relationship between the two atoms that endures forever, no matter how far they are from each other ... Once made, a relationship always exists. It seems that in human relationships, that principle exists as well. Once a person has been a part of our lives, the ripples remain, even though we have no further contact. In that sense a relationship continues even though we may consciously exorcise it from our conscious contact. Once you understand that principle, a shift will occur in all of your contact with others. If the relationship was toxic, the relationship must go through a transformation, since it will always be with you. You do not need to be in contact with the person to change the nature of the relationship. You can change how you perceive it. You can change how it impacts you. This is true of all human systems - intact or not. Your whole emotional and intellectual stance toward that person must be different. By this point you already have what you need to know. CAUTION: THERE ARE GREAT RISKS THAT COME WITH RECOVERY! The problem of recovery is whether you are willing to risk the changes necessary. We have our own list of things we need to do. It wouldn't hurt for the people around us to know and understand what our goals are. We all need to know that change doesn't happen overnight and some things take practice. We will have good days and bad days. Some things will come easier than others ... These are the things we must do to win our lives back:
If survivors are making significant changes, the people around them will not like it because it might mean they have to change too. They will misinterpret the survivor's actions. They may even question the survivor's motivation and conduct. Count on it. Remember, others ... will have to go through denial, fear and anger before they get to the pain. That includes family members, friends and other people on whom survivors might count. If you are committed to reality, you must accept that people will misperceive you.
You are a person who demands reckoning; Second, having boundaries clarifies values. They essentially are the answer to the question, "For what am I willing to fight?" Those values help define who you are. Finally, by successfully implementing boundaries, a new trust for yourself emerges. Survivors can and will take care of themselves, which creates a new sense of safety.
What lengths are you willing to go to in order to be free? When you answer that question, you may have to face another risk; to be alone and be okay.
First comes the connection with self and the acceptance of your own brokenness. Then there is the acceptance of the community and renewed trust in others. The ability to trust oneself and others clears the path to trusting a creator. That trust also means acceptance of a larger purpose, a purpose in which, at times, even bad things can happen to very good people ... To trust a higher purpose or power requires an essential trust of others. Trust of others really only comes from a deep trust of your own integrity.
By sharing with others, you have an examined life. People know who you are. They also help you with their perspectives and ideas. They bring reality and problem-solving skills to your life. This process allows for integration of the darker side of yourself and acceptance of your humanness ... It is then that we can share the shadow side of ourselves, the nasty, mean-spirited side of ourselves ... Failure to own that reality will keep us from the serenity that we seek. Disowning our shadow will prevent integrity. Remember that others are mirrors for ourselves. What we love or hate in others reflects what we love or hate about ourselves. Dr. Carl Jung wrote that to acknowledge our skeletons is the only way we will be able to ultimately accept the "gold" of life.
Though no one can go back ~ Author Unknown 3月6日 Turning PointI have mentioned this singer/songwriter before ... a singer from North Carolina named David Wilcox. He is a talented musician and a wonderful poet. His words spoke to parts of my journey and maybe to parts of yours?
3月1日 Keeping Anger From Hurting YouWhen you receive really bad news, what do you do?
When you are having difficulty with a coworker at work, what do you do? When someone is rude to you, what do you do?
When someone is gossiping about you, what do you do?
When someone calls you names, what do you do?
Does it sound like I'm describing a grade school playground when I ask that? I'm not. Apparently, with all the violence in TV Shows and Movies, the violence on the News, the general decline in good manners and a diminishing command of the English language, people just aren't as nice as they used to be. I'm not talking about an occasional sassy teenager or a grumpy old man. I'm talking about half the people you meet in the course of your day!
When people are mean or life hands you a lemon, what do you do?
When I was younger, I gave as good as I got. Cut me off in traffic. I'd think nothing of nearly wrecking both our cars to cut you off. If you flipped me off, I could fly the mighty bird right back. If you talked nasty to me, I'd make you sorry. If you treated me badly, I'd give it back in spades. I thought I was pretty tough stuff. Sounds like a real pleasant person to be around, doesn't it? I knew people were afraid of me and I didn't care. In fact, I liked it! It was the ultimate mask. I thought it kept me safe. It didn't. It isolated me. It actually made me a target because some people thought it was funny to make me mad. Maybe, they were right? I did look pretty goofy when I was mad as a wet hen with steam flying out both ears!
Is this true confessions? Maybe. Maybe not much of a confession at all! I think everyone has a temper. I think we all have a goat that can be got. I think we all have a chain that can be jerked.
Not you? You NEVER get mad? Well, okay, let's just say that, for the sake of discussion, we all have a temper ... just think about it for a minute ... When someone takes your parking place, what do you do?
When someone spills something on your expensive jacket, what do you do?
When someone bumps into you, what do you do?
When someone thinks you cut them off, what do you do?
When someone calls you a bitch out of the blue, what do you do?
No one is looking. Just between you and you, what do you do?
Do you take offense?
Do you fight back?
Do you give as good as you get?
Do you turn the other cheek? Do you smile?
Do you kill them with kindness?
Do you ignore them?
Do you shrug it off as their bad day and go on with your's?
I've thought about that a lot over the past few days. I have paid attention to the way people interact with one another. I'd have to call it a draw. I have seen 50% courtesy and I have seen 50% rude. Most of the time, random acts of kindness stood right next to random acts of rudeness. There didn't seem to be much rhyme or reason to any of it.
Do I still get mad? Of course! Do I still get angry? I do that too.
Did my anger ever change anything? Nope. Not one time. There are constructive ways to deal with un-kindness when it is directed or misdirected at us. If someone tries to flood our space with their negative energy, we can simply step around it. I think of it like this. If a dog poops in my yard, I'm not going to go jump in it or roll around in it! I'm going to walk around it, maybe scoop it up and throw it away, but I'm not going to lose my peace over it. Negative energy is just like dog poop! We don't have to spend too much time on it. We wouldn't call all the neighbors to come look at it! It's just dog poop. Helping Yourself Calm Down There are a number of ways which people use to deal with anger. You need to deal with angry feelings and find better ways to express yourself. For some people, it can help to gain insight into why they get so angry. If you feel yourself getting angry, don't let it build up until you have a violent outburst. Try breathing deeply in long, slow breaths, giving your heartbeat a chance to slow down. Repeat a word such as "relax" or "calm" as you breathe. Then give yourself time to think. Get out of the situation if you need to, and find someone to talk things over with, who will help you to calm down. Try and think logically about the cause of your anger. Consider if there is a misunderstanding or if you are really angry about this or something else. Try to express angry feelings in an assertive manner, using calm, logical words rather than violence. If you are having, or expecting, a heated discussion, keep the following in mind:
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