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May 31
Shannon could hear the footsteps behind her as she walked toward home. The thought of being followed made her heart beat faster. "You're being silly", she told herself, "no one is following you." To be safe, she began to walk faster, but the footsteps kept up with her pace. She was afraid to look back and she was glad she was almost home. Shannon said a quick prayer, "God please get me home safe." She saw the porch light burning and she leaned against the door for a moment, relieved to be in the safety of her own home. She glanced out the window to see if anyone was there. The sidewalk was empty.
After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ANGEL1213. She checked her buddy list and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:
ANGEL1213: Hi, I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!
GoTo123: LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?
ANGEL1213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz I didn't see anybody when I looked out.
GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?
ANGEL1213: Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.
GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?
ANGEL1213: Yes and we won!!
GoTo123: That's great! Who did you play?
ANGEL1213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL
GoTo123: What is your team called?
ANGEL1213: We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
GoTo123: Did you pitch?
ANGEL1213: No, I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them to get mad at me. Bye!
GoTo123: Catch you later. Bye.
Meanwhile ... GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and negan to write down what he knew about Angel so far.
Her name: Shannon
Her Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: Softball, Chorus, Skating and going to the mall.
Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number was 7 and printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the 8th grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this in the conversations thay had on-line. He had enough information to find her now.
Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.
By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.
Her game was in full swing when she suddenly felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.
He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the fear she had felt.
After the game, he sat on the bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her. Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.
Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until it was time to make his move.
Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the livingroom. "Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn'timagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.
"Sit down," her father began, "This man has been telling us an intersting story about you.
Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never even seen him before today!
"Do you know who I am, Shannon?" the man asked.
"No," Shannon answered.
"I am a police officer and your on-line friend, GoTo123."
Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's 14 and he lives in Michigan!"
The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it isn't true. You see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to find kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it very easy for me to find you. Your name, the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The name and number on your jersey just made findign you a breeze."
Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"
He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?"
She nodded.
"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are home alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing that you have done it. I hope you have learned a lesson from this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?"
"It's a promise!"
NOW ...
I suggest you copy and paste this and send this to as many people as you can to teach them about not to give any information about themselves. This world we live in is too dangerous to even give out your age, let alone anything else.
May 30
Don Miguel Ruiz has actually written several books. The first one interested me so much that I read his next one, I don't want to diminish Mr. Ruiz's book sales in any way, so once again, I am sharing a condensed version, choosing enough information to hopefully cause you to buy your own copy, but not so much that I give away the full concept because it is a good one and very much worth the price and your time. I can't improve on Don Miguel Ruiz's words so let me share from this book:
The Four Agreements Companion Book
Using The Four Agreements To Master The Dream Of Your Life
by Don Miguel Ruiz
Humans accumulate a lot of knowledge, and 95 percent of that knowledge is not true. Instead of using knowledge as a tool for communication, we become puppets of knowledge. We give life to the knowledge, and that knowledge begins to create a lot of drama and suffering because it isn't based on truth.
The whole dream of the planet is not real; it is not true. When you awake from that dream and are aware of what is going on in people's minds, you see the Parasites everywhere in everyone. You see all the emotional poison coming out through those parasites.
Well, each of us has our own book of knowledge, our own "book of law", and we use that book to judge ourselves, to find ourselves guilty, and to punish ourselves.
The belief that you are not good enough is one of the little parasites in your mind. It is evil because it is destroying you. It causes suffering because it limits your life, it limits your creativity and your happiness. The belief that nobody likes you, the belief that you are always right - these beliefs are not true, and they lead you into self-destruction. By always being right, for example, you have to make someone else wrong. By making someone else wrong, you create an enemy and then you are hurting yourself because sooner or later that enemy will go against you. All these concepts are alive and they work together, but they need your mind, they need your dream, they need your emotions to be alive. They only live because you believe them.
(Think about the things you believe) ... ask you heart, not the parasite, whether each statement is true or false. Here's a hint to let you know when you are telling yourself a lie. Any belief that generates fear or feelings of unworthiness is false; it's a lie. The parasite thrives on the emotions that come from fear, suffering, and drama. Our authentic self would never abuse us; it comes from love.
Humans are powerful creators. We are born with all the faith of the universe, and everything we create is based on faith. That faith is really our personal power, but what has happened with our faith? Your faith is so strong that when you believe "I am never going to be this," thy will be done, you are never going to be that. if you believe "I cannot do it", thy will be done, you cannot do it. Whatever you believe, you put your faith in that belief, and your faith will make it true.
If you have a strong desire to change your book of law, it is going to happen, but you cannot expect the change to come without crisis. You are breaking your beliefs, your awareness is expanding, and you are learning to dream in your own way. As you break all those old beliefs that tell you what isn't possible, incredible things start happening to you because you don't limit yourself anymore.
YOU DON'T TAKE ON OTHER'S ADDICTIONS, AND YOU DON'T JOIN IN THEIR GOSSIPING. YOU NO LONGER CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THEIR DRAMA, ABOUT THEIR ANGER, THEIR JEALOUSY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY ARE DREAMING. AND YOU KNOW THEY DON'T MEAN IT WHEN THEY TELL YOU SOMETHING UNKIND.
Once we understand that we are dreaming, knowledge doesn't control our faith anymore. Instead, the opposite happens; our faith controls our knowledge; our faith controls our agreements and beliefs. We accept that it's our responsibility to change the dream if we don't like it, and we surrender to being responsible. Then we realize that the point of view other people use to see the world has nothing to do with us. We don't take anything personally because we know others are dreaming, and it is only their point of view. We know they are never going to believe what we say anyway unless they change the way they dream.
We don't expect that people will understand us. They are ruling their lives by their personal book of law, and they are still comparing notes with everybody else. We will understand them because we used to be the same way, but they will not understand us.
At this point, we no longer make assumptions. We know it is a fact that others are dreaming, and in their minds whatever they say right now can change the next day or the next instant. How can we make assumptions when we know that everything is changing? We love them the way they are and respect all the changes in them, or we walk away. We are no longer attached to the outcome, because we have our faith.
At this point, our whole life becomes magic.
Miracles happen,
and they happen all the time.
There is only one thing we can use to guide our actions, reactions, and our interactions with all those dreamers who don't have awareness, and that is our integrity. Our integrity is who we really are, the totality of our own self. You need to trust yourself. You will know that you have recovered your integrity when you feelgood, when you feel happy. Every time you don't feel good, it is the result of a self-judgment, and that judgment is using the book of law to find you guilty. Now you are ashamed of yourself, and that's why you don't feel good.
The fourth agreement, ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST, is the engine that moves us forward. It is the action. Perhaps you cannot control what is going to happen around you, but you can certainly control your own reaction. Your reaction is the clue to having a wonderful life. Why? Because what makes you happy or unhappy is not what is happening around you, but how you choose to react to it. If you can learn to change your own reactions, then you can change your habits and routines, change the program, and change your life.
The repeated action of using the Four Agreements will break many of the agreements that make life so difficult and unpleasant. It takes a lot of time and courage because it's easier just to take things personally, make assumptions, and react the way you react all the time. But that leads you to emotional pain, and your reaction is to send the poison back to other people and increase the drama. WHEN YOU STOP THE DRAMA AT THE VERY BEGINNING, YOU SOLVE THE PROBLEM RIGHT AWAY, AND THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO AFTER THAT.
The parasite wants us to carry the past with us, and that makes it so heavy to be alive. When we try to live in the past, how can we enjoy the present?
Everything that exists is in an eternal transformation. Everything in nature, all of creation, is changing. Creation is happening in the moment. It has no beginning, it has no end; it is ongoing. Energy is always transforming because it is alive. Life is what is happening; death is what is not happening. A moment after something happens, it is already dead. Whatever happened to us as a child, in school, with friends, in love relationships - whatever was true thirty years ago - is no longer true ... it is true that the memory happened, but it is also true that it is not happening anymore.
It is gone. It isn't real. It's over.
Detachment doesn't mean that we stop loving someone or something; it only means we accept that there is nothing we can do to stop the transformation of life. Detachment is so powerful because when we learn to detach, we respect the forces of nature, which means we also respect the changes in our own life. As soon as you detach from fear, you detach from the problem, you detach from the outcome, and you are free. You are floating effortlessly in the stream of life. When you have no fear, you have no resistance. And when you have no resistance, the solution to your problem is there in the light, and it comes to you. The solution to every problem of humanity is in the light.
You are alive, you are free,
and you are powerful.
You are not a victim of your beliefs,
your desires, your society,
or your circumstances.
The Four Agreements Are:
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD.
All the magic you possess is based on your word. Depending upon how it is used, the word can set you free, or it can enslave you more than you know.
2. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY.
All people live in their own dream, in their own mind. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.
3. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS.
We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST.
In your everyday moods your best can change from one moment to another, from one hour to the next, from one day to another. Your best will also change over time. As you build the habit of the four new agreements, your best will become better than it used to be.
The Four Agreements are not meant to be a religion, but an enhancement of our faith and beliefs ... a tool to be used to bring out the best in each of us, to uncover our authentic self, to live our best life ...
I read the book ... to improve me ... to inspire me ... but I also learned to listen to other people differently. It's much easier to really hear what people are saying when I don't take anything they say personally. They are showing me their view of the world. I don't assume I know what they are thinking or where their conversation is going. I just listen to their view of the world. If I am asked to comment, I am much more careful about the way I answer because I do believe that words have the power to bless and heal as well as curse and destroy. Sometimes, I am tired. Sometimes, I am not feeling well. I am not always my very best, but I can always try to do the best with what I have at the moment.
Let me tell you what happened this weekend ...
I had two of my grandchildren spend the night. They misbehaved horribly. I didn't feel it was my place to punish them so I reported their behavior to my daughter. I expected her to speak to her children, correct them and have the children call on the phone and apologize and promise to do better next time. We would thank them for their apology and of course, forgive them ... and life would go on ...
That is not what happened. My daughter was offended that we would criticize her perfect little darlings because they NEVER misbehave anywhere else! Instead of an apology, I got a defensive MOTHER explaining to me in ridiculous logic why it wasn't her children ... but our fault !!!
What was I thinking?
I wish I could tell you that I immediately applied the FOUR AGREEMENTS and ...
1. Kept my speech impeccable.
2. Didn't take anything personally.
3. Didn't make assumptions.
4. Always did my best.
... that I kept things simple and I remained compassionate throughout the whole conversation, but I didn't and I wasn't. I went for a walk, talked to Joey ... and considered ...
1. I needed to be calm and let go of my expectations. My daughter is still trying to live the lie of perfection. It's poisoning her. It hurts me but it is hurting her WAY MORE.
2. How can I really take anything she says personally? It's obvious to everyone else that there is no sense in what she says, but challenging her will only make her that much more determined to defend her position ... which will push her further into the lie, so it is better for me to let it go. Nothing I say will change her. She is going to have to find her own way ...
3. I have no idea WHY she acts this way ... WHAT made her come to these conclusions ... WHERE this will lead ... or even WHEN it will get better. Any assumptions on my part will only complicate and possibly hinder the eventual POSITIVE outcome.
4. I did my best ... BUT I can do better.
I will remind myself ...
Detachment doesn't mean that we stop loving someone or something; it only means we accept that there is nothing we can do to stop the transformation of life. Detachment is so powerful because when we learn to detach, we respect the forces of nature, which means we also respect the changes in our own life. As soon as you detach from fear, you detach from the problem, you detach from the outcome, and you are free. You are floating effortlessly in the stream of life. When you have no fear, you have no resistance. And when you have no resistance, the solution to your problem is there in the light, and it comes to you. The solution to every problem of humanity is in the light ...
and float effortlessly in the stream ...
May 29 Learning what it means to be empty and transparent
is the daily path of the wise.
It is a path that does not require a bulging portfolio
of knowledge and technique,
but the simple commitment on a moment-to-moment
level to let go of the forces that obscure compassion.
We learn to loosen our hold on resentment,
demand, and fear.
We learn to let go of our stories rooted in the past
and our anxieties about the future.
We learn to let go of our "shoulds",
historical angers, and opinions.
We learn to listen wholeheartedly in each moment
and to understand suffering and its causes.
A moment of letting go
is a moment of listening to the universe
in which all thoughts of "I" and "you" dissolve.
Learning to let go of the heart of separation,
the heart of compassion can emerge.
Patient, kind, tolerant, and forgiving compassion
is the mother of calm simplicity.
For whatever words or actions
I have expressed that have harmed you,
I ask forgiveness.
I forgive you for the words and actions
you have expressed that have harmed me.
So simple to understand but so hard to do ...
May 27
Compassion.
Compassion springs from a mind and heart deeply rooted in simplicity, integrity, and a profound understanding of the interconnected nature of all life. Compassion is a transforming quality of heart we cultivate, nurture, and refine. It is rediscovered through the falling away of layers of fear, resistance, and anxiety that have the power to veil the innately compassionate heart. Our challenge may not be so much one of becoming more compassionate, but one of learning to let go of the clouds of confusion that obscures the powerful compassion within us.
There is no greater need in this world than the need for compassion. There is no greater healing power than that of compassion. Nurturing compassion invites us to address the most challenging questions and dilemmas of our times. How do we respond to the escalating poverty, suffering and anguish in the world? Can we find a wise and compassionate way to embrace those who abuse, exploit and oppress? Can we find a way to embrace the rage, fear and hurt carried in our own hearts? Is there any true alternative to compassion? Compassion is a seed, cultivated within ourselves, that flowers in kindness, patience, tolerance and the skillful responses of healing. Compassion is born not of complex, heroic efforts and prescriptions, but of simple dedication to the end of sorrow as it is met in each moment.
We need to remember that compassion is not only the territory of the saintly, the realized, or the religious; it is born in heartfelt listening to our own life, heart, and mid, and bearing the echoes of all lives, hearts and minds.
Each of us has the capacity to awaken our hearts and minds, and discover the simplicity of genuine compassion ... Our capacity to feel deeply means we share with all life the possibilities of experiencing delight, joy, trust, and intimacy, just as we share the capacity to experience pain, sorrow, grief and fear.
An understanding of this profound interconnectedness of all life is at the root of the compassionate heart dedicated to alleviating suffering without reservation or exception.
We are strangely close to the people in our lives we struggle with, fear, resent, just as we are close to the difficult places in our own hearts and minds - our tendencies towards self-abasement, greed or feelings of inadequacy ... The difficult people in our lives, the difficult places in ourselves, appear to hold as much power, but it is power we have given to them.
Would we rather flounder in the waves of resentment or find the compassion to forgive and move on in our lives? Would we rather pursue the desperate dream of perfection or find the wisdom and compassion of acceptance and understanding?
In the loss of compassion, and the surrender of the core of freedom within, there is grieving in our hearts; the grief of profound loss. Learning to rediscover our capacity for compassion is a reclaiming of authority ... In resting in interconnectedness there is peace, forgiveness, compassion, and vastness.
Our memories, thoughts, and fears that are rooted in pain speak the language of separation and division - "wrong," "bad," "unworthy." The wisdom of our heart speaks a softer language - "Patience," "tolerance," "forgiveness."
The difficult moments and encounters in our lives are the gateways to compassion. Our enemies are angels of compassion in disguise, inviting us to present, to attend, and to receive. Here we discover for ourselves the healing, balancing power of compassion.
Genuine compassion is not only a response to obvious sorrow and pain, but it is also present in the moments we are confronted with people who offend, threaten or challenge us ... We will all meet many difficult moments in our lives - people will abuse us or take us for granted, people we love will leave us; our expectations of others and ourselves will be disappointed, and there will be times when we are misunderstood or judged unfairly ... Whether our response to sorrow is an inner or an outer one, compassion roots itself in the dedication to ending sorrow.
How many moments in our lives do we face the choice between participating in the perpetuation of pain and finding another path that asks of us a greater courage, faith and compassion?
The seeds of compassion and wisdom lie in each moment that we are willing to turn our attention toward suffering, pain and conflict rather than following the pathways of denial and avoidance ... the gentle exploration of pain and sorrow in the world around us is also an exploration of the pain and sorrow we encounter in our own hearts and lives ... We live in a fragile world and there is wisdom in embracing a wise insecurity, understanding that the only authentic refuge in this fragile life lies in our capacity to remain present, balanced, and compassionate.
We hold the power to wound ourselves with judgment, harshness, and blame, occupying the role of our own inner terrorist. All the strategies, formulas, and willpower in the world are no substitute for compassion ... Compassion teaches us that it is dangerous for our planet, our society, and ourselves NOT to care.
Compassion.
~ Christina Feldman, Author of
The Buddhist Path to Simplicity
Spiritual Practice for Everyday Life
May 25 Simplicity.
Most of the answers we need are already right here inside us. Our life's experiences were the training ground for where we are now ... but why do things get so mixed up if we already know the answers? Well, that's simple too. Some of the information we have come to accept as GOSPEL isn't GOSPEL but our personal experience and past hurts and disappointments discolor the way we react to things that happen to us now!
I heard a story on tv ... An elderly blind lady was being moved to a new old folks home ... On the way there, they were describing her room, the bed covers, the curtains ... and she said, "I love it!" They said, "Are you sure? You haven't even seen it yet!" and she said ... "I don't have to see it to know that I love it. I have to decide to love it so that when I see it, I really will love it.!"
Simplicity.
I liked that story ... It was more than positive thinking ... It said to me that most of the things we fear ... even the things that hurt us ... happen inside us, and often with very little input from anyone else! Other people don't hurt us. WE HURT US!
Simplicity.
The world that invites profound transformation is the one we carry within us. The only moment that offers the possibility of transformation and simplicity is this moment.
We do not need to look further than this moment, this world, to find the simplicity we hunger for. Simplicity and stillness are born of transcending our life but of radical change in our hearts and minds.
Learning to cultivate inner calmness, to care wholeheartedly for the moment we are in, to learn to release anxiety and agitation; these are lessons we can only learn while living our lives.
The source of happiness and unhappiness lies nowhere else but in our minds and hearts. We can make endless journeys to find happiness and engage in countless strategies to rid ourselves of unhappiness, but the key traveler on all the journeys and the central player in all the strategies is ourselves, and it is to ourselves we always return. There is a wonderful Zen saying, "The only Truth you find on top of the mountain is the truth you brought with you." We discover happiness through making peace with ourselves and the circumstances of our lives, not through trying to escape from them. nor through living in fantasies about the future. Our lives will continue to present us with unexpected challenges and opportunities. Our bodies will age and become fragile, our teenagers will rebel, our colleagues may frustrate us, financial demands will continue to appear. We will meet with allies and adversaries. We will be asked to find room in our hearts for the needs of others, to embrace our own demons, and to respond to the changing circumstances of each moment. We make peace with our lives through learning to connect with the simple truths of each moment. We make peace with our lives through learning to connect with the simple truths of each moment. As the "graffiti on the bridge tells us, "We are not in a traffic jam. We are the traffic jam."
The present moment we are in offers everything we need to discover the deepest serenity and most profound simplicity. There is not a better moment, a more perfect moment for us to awaken and uncover the immediacy and well-being we long for.
Tolstoy once said, "If you want to be happy, be."
There is suffering ... There is an end to suffering.
Love and loss, frustration and contentment, intimacy and separation, praise and blame, beginnings and endings - this is the story of life. For each person who meets life with joy and ease, there is another who lives with fear and conflict. The story of life offers us possibilities of entanglement and intensity, or simplicity and ease. To discover the peace of simplicity we are asked to see through the layers of misunderstanding and confusion that camouflage the serenity that is possible for us.
Serenity, compassion and stillness are not accidents but consciously cultivated paths. They are possible for each of us, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to clear the dust of entanglement. It is there for all, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to see clearly.
Just as moments of delight will touch our lives and hearts, we will also be asked to respond to encounters with loss, failure, blame and pain. There will be times when we are separated from those we love, face disappointed dreams, experience loneliness and tension, or we are hurt by others. Can we be at peace with all these moments? Can we find a simple, clear understanding within our hearts vast enough to embrace the variety of our experiences?
Anyone can be at peace when showered with praise, kindness or adoration. Show me the one who stays serene and balanced in the midst of harshness and blame, this is the one who is truly at peace. If we do not know peace in our hearts, it will elude us in all the areas of our lives.
Peace is not the absence of the unpleasant or challenging in our lives. Peace is most often found in the absence of prejudice, resistance, and judgment. Learning to live with simplicity does not mean that nothing difficult, unpleasant, or challenging will happen to us. Meditation is not an attempt to armor ourselves against life's realities. Instead, it is about learning to open, to discover a heart as vast as the ocean that can embrace the calm and the turbulence, the driftwood and the sparkling waves.
Peace is not a denial of life but the capacity to be wholeheartedly with each moment, just as it is, without fear or avoidance. We learn to simplify; to strip away our expectations and desires, to let go of our fears and projections, and see the simple truth of each moment. Out of this simplicity is born an understanding and wise responsiveness that manifests in our speech, actions, and choices. We discover what it means to embrace our lives.
We need to be willing to be changed by the insights that come to us.
Understanding the rhythm of change, the beginnings and endings intrinsic to life, is an insight that invites us to let go more easily. To try to hold onto, maintain, or preserve anything in this life, inwardly or outwardly, is to invite the experience of depravation, anxiety, and defensiveness into our hearts. Learning to embrace and live in harmony with all the changes, the births and deaths, beginnings and endings that life will inevitably bring to each of us, is to invite stillness and serenity into our hearts.
Simplicity is a journey that involves both our inner and outer worlds - they are interconnected, endlessly informing each other. Our lives are simply our hearts and minds taking form, made manifest. Our words, thoughts, actions, and choices are born within our hearts and minds. Untangling the knots of complexity found within our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, we learn to untangle the knots of our lives. We learn how to be at home in each moment with calmness, balance, and the willingness to learn. Simplicity is not passive, a benign detachment from the turbulence of life; it is a way of placing our finger upon the pulse of our life and discovering the way of liberation.
Patience is a gesture of profound kindness. We all have moments when we stumble and lose ourselves in our stories, fears and fantasies. And we can all begin again in the next moment, recovering a sense of balance and openness. Patience teaches us to seek an inner refuge of simplicity, balance, and sensitivity in even the most turbulent moments. It is about learning to be good friends to ourselves. Blame, judgement, and avoidance only divorce us from ourselves and exile us from the moment. Impatience always leads us away from where we are; wanting to jump into a better, more perfect moment. Impatience is the manifestation of resistance and aversion, it is the face of non-acceptance. Impatience never leads to the calm, simple contentment of being, but to perpetual restlessness and frustration. Patience is one of life's great arts, a lesson we learn not just once, but over and over. In the moments we find ourselves leaning into a future that has not arrived, we can PAUSE and learn to stand calmly in the moment. When we find ourselves frustrated with ourselves or another, we can remember that THIS is the very moment we are invited to soften our resistance and open our hearts ...
Compassion is another essential companion on the journey to simplicity. Simplicity is not only a gift of compassion for ourselves, but also for the world. Deprivation, poverty, and hardship will not be eased by ever more strategies, councils, or prescriptions. As Gandhi once said, "There is enough in the world for everyone's needs, but not enough for everyone's greed." Each moment we lay down the burden of endless need, we become a conscious participant in easing the sorrow of the world.
Of what avail is it if we can travel to the moon,
If we cannot cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves,
This is the most important of all journeys
And without it all the rest are useless.
~ Christina Feldman, Author of
The Buddhist Path to Simplicity
Spiritual Practice for Everyday Life
Simplicity.
When bad things happen ... Don't fight it. Don't run away. Do what you can, if you can, when you can, and after you have done all that you can do, trust that you are where you are NOW to learn what you need to learn for what happens NEXT.
Simplicity.
May 22
I write about the awesome healing that I have found because HEALING is something we all need and it can come to any and all of us. I've shared many thoughts on HEALING ... but sometimes, life throws me too many curves and I have to pause and dig a little deeper for more healing.
I never went to a funeral until I was 30 years old. I was grateful that my family and friends lived long, but lately, there have been so many ... Aunts, Uncles, Friends ... from different parts of the country and for different reasons.
I received another phone call this morning about two more deaths in the family ...
I know that no one lives forever ... and I know I haven't had much experience with funerals and death ... and I even know that some of them were older and had good lives ... and I am sure that they are in a much better place ... But so many good-byes so close together is wearing me out.
I'm tired and I need to rest ...
You'll have to excuse me
I'm not at my best
My faith is still grounded
But my heart needs rest
May 19
THE GIFT OF HELLO
AND THE ART OF GOOD-BYE
I love beginnings ...
sweet meetings of the minds ...
discovering the blessed synchronicity of souls ...
the realization that the friends we choose
say as much about us as it says about them ...
It isn't lost on me that choosing me
says as much about them as it does about me.
My life is full of open, loving people ...
although my heart has often made room
for people who needed me much more
than I might have needed them ...
I have an affinity for the underdogs.
I have always collected strays.
I was rewarded every time
with the company of angels ...
true saints in human form who
balanced my life
with
their wisdom and spontaneous laughter ...
I have not mastered endings ...
I don't know that I shall ever get it right.
My heart breaks at the loss of every loved one ...
whether they be the underdog,
the sinner and the stray
or the angel, the saint,
and the pillar of strength ...
I do not know how to say good-bye
to even one of those
ripped from my life ...
I know with my head
that people come and people go,
Tides come in and tides go out,
Night has to follow day
so that day can follow night,
Flowers need sunshine and rain
to be beautiful and strong ...
I know this with my head.
I can't embrace it with my heart ...
When so many departures
are scheduled so closely ...
Does heaven need them all at once?
What JOY there must be in heaven
at the collection
of so many precious saints!
I can close my eyes and imagine them ...
the hugs and the cheer ...
I can see them at their finest,
shining from the inside out.
I am grateful for their health
and return to vitality.
I can feel them saying ...
"Don't miss me too much.
I really like it here!
We'll see each other soon enough.
You'll really like the view!
You haven't really lost us.
We're there inside of you ...
as close as our memory,
Our words can replay at will.
You'll hear our love played back to you
Because we love you still.
Don't be sad
that you didn't get to say good-bye.
You can't say good-bye to love!
It is the same here as it is there ...
See you later
or
See you soon ...
You loving us and us loving you ..."
Whether death takes a loved one
to that other place,
Or life moves a loved one
to fill another space ...
The end result is the same
to those of us who are left behind ...
We close our eyes and think of them,
knowing that they are gone ...
but knowing too
that they're here inside of us ...
as close as our memory,
Our words can replay at will.
We'll hear their love played back to us
Because we love them still.
Maybe, we don't have to master endings
when nothing really ends ...
Once someone touches our life
and we share each other's heart,
Love creates a ripple
that grows into a wave ...
that carries us through our life
and way beyond the grave.
(I am not a poet or ever claimed to be! ~ kktaylorcc)
May 18
|
All events and incidents in life are so intimately linked with the fate of others that a single person on his or her own cannot even begin to act. Many ordinary human activities, both positive and negative, cannot even be conceived of apart from the existence of other people.
Even the committing of harmful actions depends on the existence of others. Because of others, we have the opportunity to earn money if that is what we desire in life.
Similarly, in reliance upon the existence of others it becomes possible for the media to create fame or disrepute for someone. On your own you cannot create any fame or disrepute no matter how loud you might shout. The closest you can get is to create an echo of your own voice.
Thus interdependence is a fundamental law of nature. Not only higher forms of life but also many of the smallest insects are social beings who, without any religion, law, or education, survive by mutual cooperation based on an innate recognition of their interconnectedness.
The most subtle level of material phenomena is also governed by interdependence. All phenomena, from the planet we inhabit to the oceans, clouds, forests, and flowers that surround us, arise in dependence upon subtle patterns of energy.
Without their proper interaction, they dissolve and decay.
~ by Tenzin Gyatso, the Fourteenth Dalai Lama,
from "The Compassionate Life"
What that says to me is that EVERYTHING, absolutely EVERYTHING COUNTS! The smallest action on one person's part can cause the biggest reaction on another person's part and we never really know how the things we do effect another or the effect that another's action may have on us.
| May 17
SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY
(Poem by Lord Byron)
She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which Heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
Dedicated to my friend, Emilie, who passed away two days ago.
She was the kind of friend who always knew the right things to say,
deeply spiritual and very wise.
I will miss her gentle ways.
She was a source of encouragement to everyone who knew her.
Please join with me in prayer for Emilie's family.
I have lost too many dear friends this year ...
I know that none of us is promised tomorrow ...
Please make the most of each day you are given
because none of us knows which day will be our last.
Please hold the ones you love close ...
the ones that matter to you most ...
because none of us knows which day will be our last.
May 15
The Mother's Day Cookout was GREAT!
I made potato salad and coleslaw Saturday. I baked beans on Sunday. Joey grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. The kids brought drinks and chips. I sliced tomatoes and onions ... set out the buns, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, pickles ... along with everything else, buffet style.
I insisted that Nathan (my son) and Jeremy (son-in-law) wait on their wives hand and foot ... That made all of us laugh ... I can tell these two men need more practice! LOL!!! Then while the Moms ate, the Dads took care of feeding the kids ... a source of more laughter ... Nathan spread wasabi mayonnaise on Fiona's hamburger ... All three of us Moms shrieked, "That's wasabi!" ... He laughed and said, "You ask me to fix her plate and then you all stand around and tell me how to do it ... I can fix this" ... He switched his burger for hers ... Problem solved!
Everyone was laughing and talking at once ... The crowd spilled into the screened porch and the back deck.
I stopped eating to listen to the kids laughing and the Dads teasing them and each other ... The kids are growing so fast, and as young as they are, they sure are smart! Nathan and Jeremy act like brothers more than brothers-in-law. They are both high school science teachers so some of their teasing can be nerdy in a cool kind of way ... lol ...
The kids all wanted to sit by Papa Joey. He has been pretty popular since he taught Hunter (and then, Faith) to shoot a b.b. gun. Then, he taught Faith how to play a few chords on guitar ... Joey never had kids of his own, so it's fun to watch how he handles three kids talking at once ... I bail him out once in a while ... but I usually don't have to. He gets better as the kids get older, or maybe the kids get better as he gets older? LOL ...
I rewarded everyone with ice cream ... Fiona (the youngest granddaughter) helped me make ice cream cones and she delivered them to everyone, saying, "Look what I made!" LOL ... That little four year old sure serve up some pretty good ice cream!
The guys took Hunter and Faith (the two oldest kids) "EXPLORING" in the woods down by the creek ... I'm not sure WHY they needed b.b.guns and binoculars, but they did. I'm surprised they didn't get out the fishing rods too!
Fiona stayed up on the porch with me. We watched for airplanes and boodies (Means birdies - She can't say her Rs ... Her Dad couldn't either ... She'll learn). I have had some of the deepest, most enlightening conversations with the brightest people, but I don't think any adult conversation beats giggling with a four year old on the back porch!
Tally (my oldest daughter) gave me the neatest bracelet and a frame with pictures of all four Grandkids! Beautiful and thoughtful gifts ... But the sweetest gift was ...
Fiona had been walking around all day saying, "I'm pretty" ... She was wearing a "geen" (green) dress with "puppple" (purple) flowers and "puppple" (purple) flip flops and she did look pretty darn cute. We were all in the living room visiting when she hollered (to be heard above every one else, of course), "You're pretty!"
I laughed and said, "Yes, Miss Fiona, you are pretty."
She said, "No MeeMaw ... YOU'RE PRETTY."
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Tally, Adrian (Fiona's Mom) and I all exchanged that, "Isn't that just precious? look. Now, I'll never make the cover of any magazine but to one little four year old, I'm pretty!
Happy Mother's Day To Me!
An afternoon with the grandkids gave me even more appreciation for these grandchildren stories ... because kids really do say the darndest things!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman and her grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful!"
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Our five-year-old son Mark couldn't wait to tell his friend about the movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the
Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused the submarine to sink?"
With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000 leaks!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.
He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green Army men in the cup. She said "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"
Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May your own life be filled with the laughter of children.
May 14
All that I am and ever HOPE to be ...
I owe it all to my ANGEL MOTHER.
(- Abraham Lincoln)
Before I Was A Mom
(Author Unknown)
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
I had romantic time with my hunny.
Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried
about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on pooped on spit on
chewed on peed on or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom
I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts,
my body and my mind. I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child
so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby
just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart
outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was ok.
I had never known the warmth the joy
the love the heartache
the wonderful-ment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much
...before I was a Mom.
A Note Of Compassion
Holidays aren't always Celebrations.
Sometimes, they HURT.
Sometimes, they remind us
Of Our Losses ...
If you have lost your Mom,
Your Grandmother,
Or the Mother of Your Children,
Today can be hard.
If you have lost a child,
Today can be hard.
If you never knew your Mom,
Today can be hard.
But TODAY
Can be a reminder of
HOW MUCH MOTHERS BRING
To this world
And
The LOVE that is passed
From generation to generation
In the hearts of
MOTHERS.
Warm Thoughts and Gentle Hugs
To YOU ...
All the mothers and all the children
Whose LOVE survived your loss.
Love and Light, Taylor
May 13
I was talking about other things so
I didn't bother to mention that I turned 49
this week!
49?
Yup ... Really!
I was feeling a little funny
about being the same age my Mom seemed to be ...
only a year or two ago ...
Of course, it's been LONGER that that
but it feels like only a few years ago!
When I was little, I can remember a day taking
FOREVER ...
Now, they FLY BY!
Whole months shoot past!
It seems like I just get used to writing one year
on my checks
when it's already the NEXT year!
I was reading REAL SIMPLE
(a GREAT magazine, if you haven't read it yet,
do yourself a favor and buy a copy!)
when I came across
an article written about people OVER 100!
You already know I like quotes,
so you might like some of these ...
(Remember, these are being said by women OVER TWICE
my age ... lol)
Frances Johnson (100) said:
If it's not terminal, why worry?
If it is, you can't do anything about it anyway!
A meal's not done until you have dessert.
Something good usually comes out of bad events.
Don't hold unto anger ...
You'll just make YOURSELF miserable.
To make a pot roast with the BEST flavor,
cook it VERY, VERY slowly.
Edna Anderson (100) said:
Keep walking.
You'll be so happy you can walk when you're old.
Avoid a fast talker when you are looking
for a husband.
Go for someone who's steady.
Volunteering gets you away from your own worries.
There are still happy times ahead after loss.
Mary Cavaliere (106) said:
Always cook with fresh vegetable, never canned.
Marry a man who's more in love with you
than you are with him.
A person never gets too old to love.
Forgiveness really is divine.
If you expect perfection from everyone,
you'll be all alone.
Melva Radcliffe (105) said:
Anything you love is important.
Don't be afraid to travel.
Don't go abroad and eat in a chain restaurant.
Eating at a foreign place is part of the trip.
You'll always need your girlfriends.
Think twice before plastic surgery.
You might look prettier without it.
Evelyn "Tootie" Yeager (102) said:
A mother should respect her children,
just as they should respect her.
If you're not wild about cooking,
get a microwave.
Eat what you're hungry for.
If you worry about being old,
you will be old.
Look for a husband that makes you laugh.
I wanted to hug everyone of these ladies
personally!
49 ... Pffffffffffbt!!!
BIG DEAL!
There'll be a day I'll give anything to be 49 again,
because
49 feels pretty good!
May 12
Quotes are my favorite. I like quotes because they inspire me. They are like a snapshot in time ... when someone said a sentence that captured how I have felt, how I'm feeling now or how I would like to feel someday ...
There are books of quotes in most book stores, but the Internet has made them even easier to find. Just type in "Quote + Healing" or "Quote + Love" or "Quote + Hope" or if humor cheers you up, "Humorous Quotes" ... No telling what you will end up with "GOOGLE-ing" that one!
Here are a few I found to get you started:
The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it’s indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it’s indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it’s indifference.
- Eli Wiesel
When you are going through hell, keep on going.
Never never never give up.
- Winston Churchill
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
- Ghandi
If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves.
- Thomas Edison
Peace.
It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise,
trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things and
still be calm in your heart.
- Unknown
Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising each time we fall.
- Confucius
The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it
- Albert Einstien
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller
Experience is not what happens to you;
it's what you do with what happens to you.
- Adlous Huxley
Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
- Harvey Fierstein
I can only be responsible for my own happiness.
- Paul
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an
invincible summer.
- Albert Camus
Never violate the sacredness of your individual self-respect.
- Theodore Parker
We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full.
- Marcel Proust
I walk slowly, but I never walk backward.
- Abraham Lincoln
Crises refine life. In them you discover what you are.
- Allen K. Chalmers
One may not reach the dawn save by path of night.
- Khalil Gribram
The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak.
- Jacques Bénigne Bossuet
One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.
- Niestzsche
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain
Anything I've ever done that ultimately was worthwhile...
initially scared me to death.
- Betty Bender
What should I be but just what I am?
- Edna St. Vincent Millay
Although the world is full of suffering,
it is also full of the overcoming of it.
- Helen Keller
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
- Confucius
Conquering any difficulty always gives one a secret joy,
for it means pushing back a boundary-line and
adding to one's liberty.
- Henri Frédéric Amiel
Our sorrows and wounds are healed
only when we touch them with compassion.
- Buddha
What I am is good enough if I could only be it openly.
- Carl Rogers
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
I am old enough to know that victory is often a thing deferred,
and rarely at the summit of courage.
What is at the summit of courage, I think, is freedom.
The freedom that comes with the knowledge
that no earthly thing can break you.
- Paula Giddings
It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Walt Disney
Whatever you do, you need courage.
Whatever course you decide upon,
there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong.
There are always difficulties arising that tempt you
to believe your critics are right.
To map out a course of action and follow it to an end
requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs.
Peace has its victories,
but it takes brave men and women to win them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment if you do not trust enough.
- Frank Crane
The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard
The world is a dangerous place to live,
not because of the people who are evil,
but because of the people who don't do anything about it.
- Albert Einstien
Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have,
and only you can determine how it will be spent.
Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.
- Carl Sandburg
Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear is a question: What are you afraid of, and why?
Just as the seed of health is in illness,
because illness contains information,
your fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge
if you explore them.
- Marilyn Ferguson
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else -
you are the one who gets burned.
- Buddha
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person.
- Kahlil Gibran
Courage is not the absence of fear,
but rather the judgment that
something else is more important than fear.
- Ambrose Redmoon
May 11
I wrote a perfectly wonderful essay on affirmations and no matter how I tried, I couldn't get it to fit into this format ... I tried editing it and cutting it and nothing worked ... When I tried my best and it's still wasn't happening, I backed up and looked at what I was doing and asked myself if there might be a better way. I decided to write about my own experience with AFFIRMATIONS. I can tell you about affirmations. I use them all the time.
I have been in some sort of sales for most of my life and have heard dozens of speeches on positive thinking and how the things we think and the things we say can and will become reality. Unfortunately for most of us ... it's not just the POSITIVE things we think and say but the NEGATIVE things we think and say that can become reality too.
That's where affirmations come in ...
What is an affirmation?
There are very few that doubt affirmations actually work but opinions vary widely when it comes to exactly why or how. Fundamentally affirmations work because you are repeatedly telling yourself that you would like to feel or act a particular way or take on a certain character trait. This repetition subtly reminds you of this and you take steps in that direction. At first these steps are conscious however with time they become unconscious, hence affirmations are a way of reprogramming the unconscious mind.
Everyone uses affirmations either by taking control and consciously writing them down and choosing how they want to act, think or feel or by allowing their environment to affirm actions and dialog with potentially damaging consequences. If you do not consciously program your subconscious you are left with no choice but to accept whatever life throws at you, positive or negative.
( from www.bmindful.com )
As a mother of four, I tried to get as much done as possible before I left the house every day. The "habit" of leaving things in order often meant that I would get in the car 10-15 minutes later than I should have. I would then be in a hurry, which meant that the old lady doing 20 in a 35 would make me CRAZY! I would get MAD at her for getting in my way. It became a habit for me to "talk" to the driver in front of me. Now I wouldn't just be rushed. I'd be frustrated. Sometimes, I'd be angry. It was a bad habit. It was all so unnecessary.
I didn't feel like I could quit doing the things I needed to do before I left the house, so I got up 10-15 minutes earlier. That helped some, but occasionally, there would still be something ... long line at the gas station, the slow driver, getting cut off by a faster driver ... I started changing the way I talked to myself. I would encourage myself to calm down ... I'd politely say, "After you" when someone cut me off ... I also put an affirmation on the dash of my car next to the clock. It said, "I will get to where I need to be when I need to get there ... DRIVE SAFELY". It didn't control my driving, but it reminded me to CONTROL MY DRIVING and being a safe and courteous driver became my NEW habit.
When I first started my recovery, I felt awful. I felt awful all the time. NOTHING cheered me up. I read a book that said to use AFFIRMATIONS to cheer ourselves up ... encouraging things we might say to someone else if they were down ... She gave a few examples of things that helped her and I found a few other quotes.
I typed them on the computer and printed them out. I cut them out and pasted them on pretty card stock and taped them all over my house ... my mirrors ... above my sink in the kitchen ... on my refrigerator ... next to the tv ... even on the inside of the front door!
Some of them said things like:
Live a balanced, centered, serene,
happy, healthy life
on a
DAILY BASIS.
My PRAYERS and NEEDS
are always answered
and
met at the PERFECT time.
ACTION
converts my goals to
REALITY.
I have the
ABILITY and SKILLS
now to get all I
NEED or WANT.
MIRACLES
are happening to me
RIGHT NOW
and
EVERY DAY.
I LOVE, ACCEPT and FORGIVE
myself and others
because
I am a LOVING and FORGIVING person.
FAITH and BELIEF
stimulate and fuel my
DREAMS.
Without
COURAGE
We cannot practice
any other virtue
consistently.
My life ALWAYS has
JOY, PURPOSE & MEANING.
I LOVE & ACCEPT OTHERS
to be who they are.
I love and appreciate my body.
I am more than my body.
I am a POWERFUL SPIRIT.
I am CAPABLE
of
REALIZING my DREAMS.
Was I magically happy and instantly healed? Recovery doesn't work that way! But it was almost magic the way I would see one of those AFFIRMATIONS and be reminded that I hadn't always been sad and that I probably wouldn't be sad forever ... They DID encourage me. They DID help me reprogram the way I was thinking. I quit focusing on "all things negative" and started looking for MIRACLES.
There are little miracles everyday, but we have to be looking for them. If we are distracted or busy, we might miss the REAL LIFE affirmations. Seeing positive statements typed out on cards trained my mind to see positive statements elsewhere ... to hear POSITIVE things from other people ... but POSITIVE THINKING only works if we BELIEVE IT! Affirmations are one of the ways to change thinking into believing.
This web-site has many BEAUTIFUL AFFIRMATIONS:
The images in my mind have creative power.
They breath existence into possibilities
That never existed before.
I am focused on my journey, not the destination.
Intuition always guides me,
Showing me how to decide which path to travel,
As my life changes course.
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/deepakaffirmation.html
I honor all relationships,
Particularly the difficult ones,
As lessons in
Learning to give and receive love.
Since I will reap whatever I sow,
May my every action be a seed of
PEACE & COMPASSION
Both for my own benefit,
And the benefit of all beings.
My body feels more relaxed and comfortable
As I allow myself to
Accept both light and shadow,
Becoming spacious enough to hold
The paradoxes of life.
Help is always available
From the seen and unseen worlds.
It is up to me to ask for what I need,
Realizing that answers may come
In unexpected ways.
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/joanaffirmations.html
I focus not on the 100 things
I may have to do at some future time,
But on the
One thing I can do NOW.
I am content with what I have.
I rejoice in the way things are.
I realize that there is nothing lacking.
The whole world belongs to me.
Nothing that was ever done to me,
Can touch, even in the slightest,
The radiant essence of who I really am.
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/eckharttolleaffirmations.html
Dear God,
I place in your hands
My relationship with __________.
May our relationship serve you.
May we see each other through the eyes of love,
That only Light might enter here.
May this space, our home, be a sacred dwelling
For those who live here.
May those who visit feel the peace
We have received from you.
May darkness not enter.
May the light of God shield this space from harm.
May the angels bring their peace here,
And use our space as a haven of light.
May all grow strong in this place of healing,
Our sanctuary from the loudness of the world.
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/williamsonaffirmations-19.html
and many more at:
http://owen.curezone.com/affirmations/affirmationsindex.htm May 10
I used to pray only formal prayers that I read in a book.
I thought I had to say thee and thou a lot.
Then, I prayed, talking to God like I was talking to my very best friend.
I would talk to Him while I was driving down the road or sitting in a park or going for a walk ... anywhere, anytime, chattering on and on about what was going on in my life.
Sometimes, I said Thank you.
Sometimes, I said Please help ...
Sometimes, I would tell him about a problem and ask Him for guidance or wisdom.
Then, one day, when I couldn't put my feelings into words, I just sat on a rock down by the river and really thought about how good God is and how thankful I was (and am) to have Him in my life.
I cried until there were no more tears.
I watched a place in the river ... a swirly, give the leaves and twigs a ride place and thought about how life was swirling around me.
Just above the swirly place was a flower bent over the stream, like it was looking at itself in the mirror ...
And just above the flower, a bluebird landed, cocked it's head to the side and looked at me ...
I hadn't said a single word ... but God's creation was speaking to my heart.
I spent a lot of time beside that river.
I learned the value of stillness ...
Of quiet meditation ...
I just read this the other day ...
Learning to meditate is the greatest gift you can give yourself in this life. For it is only through meditation that you can undertake the journey to discover your true nature, and so find the stability and confidence you will need to live, and die, well.
Meditation is the road to enlightenment.
When I teach meditation, I often begin by saying: “Bring your mind home. And release. And relax.”
To bring your mind home means to bring the mind into the state of Calm Abiding through the practice of mindfulness. In its deepest sense, to bring your mind home is to turn your mind inward and rest in the nature of mind. This itself is the highest meditation.
To release means to release the mind from its prison of grasping, since you recognize that all pain and fear and distress arise from the craving of the grasping mind. On a deeper level, the realization and confidence that arise from your growing understanding of the nature of mind inspire the profound and natural generosity that enables you to release all grasping from your heart, letting it free itself to melt away in the inspiration of meditation.
To relax means to be spacious and to relax the mind of its tensions. More deeply, you relax into the true nature of your mind. It is like pouring a handful of sand onto a hot surface, and each grain settles of its own accord. This is how you relax into your true nature, letting all thoughts and emotions naturally subside and dissolve into the state of the nature of mind.
How many of us are swept away by what I have come to call an “active laziness”? Naturally there are different species of laziness: Eastern and Western.
The Eastern style consists of hanging out all day in the sun, doing nothing, avoiding any kind of work or useful activity, drinking cups of tea and gossiping with friends.
Western laziness is quite different. It consists of cramming our lives with compulsive activity, so that there is no time left to confront the real issues.
If we look into our lives, we will see clearly how many unimportant tasks, so-called “responsibilities” accumulate to fill them up. One master compares them to “housekeeping in a dream.” We tell ourselves we want to spend time on the important things of life, but there never is any time.
Helpless, we watch our days fill up with telephone calls and petty projects, with so many responsibilities — or should we call them “irresponsibilities”?
"Glimpses" by Sogyal Rinpoche
I like how he compares the West to the East ... saying we "cram our lives with compulsive activity, so that there is no time left to confront the real issues" ... I resemble that remark! I can't remember a time when I didn't live my life through a day-timer and a series of to-do lists. It was a "breakthrough" when I quit wearing a watch!
Then one day, it all caught up to me ... The things I thought were important just didn't matter all that much to me anymore ... I found value in quieting the storm that swirled around me and through me ... in knowing that I am part of a MUCH BIGGER picture ...
May 09
The Buddhist meditation masters know how flexible and workable the mind is. If we train it, anything is possible. In fact, we are already perfectly trained to get jealous, trained to grasp, trained to be anxious and sad and desperate and greedy, trained to react angrily to whatever provokes us. In fact, we are trained to such an extent that these negative emotions rise spontaneously, without our even trying to generate them.
So everything is a question of training and the power of habit. Devote the mind to confusion and we know only too well, if we’re honest, that it will become a dark master of confusion, adept in its addictions, subtle and perversely supple in its slaveries. Devote it in meditation to the task of freeing itself from illusion, and we will find that with time, patience, discipline, and the right training, the mind will begin to unknot itself and know its essential bliss and clarity.
What is the nature of mind like? Imagine a sky, empty, spacious, and pure from the beginning; its essence is like this. Imagine a sun, luminous, clear, unobstructed, and spontaneously present; its nature is like this. Imagine that sun shining out impartially on us and all things, penetrating all directions; its energy, which is the manifestation of compassion, is like this: Nothing can obstruct it, and it pervades everywhere.
"Glimpses" by Sogyal Rinpoche
The Four Agreements talked about replacing those old agreements and beliefs with four simpler ones: keep your speech impeccable, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best. The simple exercise of consciously replacing bad thoughts with more workable ones is retraining your mind.
How many times have I gotten myself totally lost in a worry, dwelling on the thought until I thought I would lose my mind entirely, tying myself in knots, fretting about what would happen next?
Most of the things I worried about never happened!
Life moves on and for the most part, things have a way of working themselves out.
Of course, there are some things we can't ignore ... If our children are sick, it is our responsibility to stop what we are doing and care for them. It is in the way we care for them that we teach them they are valuable and deserving of care. We are teaching them to nurture others by our example ... and one day, they will grow up to nurture their children and those children will grow up to nurture their children ... One day our great, great grandchild will reach for a cup of mint tea to sooth their child's tummy ache and they won't even realize that we were the ones who served the first cup of tummy mint tea ...
One simple act of loving care will become a tradition, a source of comfort and a smile to generations of loved ones ... some of whom we will never know ...
There are other things we can't ignore ... things that demand our attention ... If we are in a car accident, the car will have to be repaired or replaced ... If a storm causes a tree to fall in our front yard, of course, we will turn our thoughts to cleaning up the fallen tree. If our pantry is in need of restocking, we go to the grocery store. If our car is low on gas, we stop and refuel. We have to pay for food and fuel so we get up everyday to go to work and all of these things are a part of the journey ... and ripe with opportunities.
Opportunities?
Let me show you what I mean ... Let's walk through a day ...
What happens when you get in a car accident?
What is your first thought?
Was it your fault? Are you mad at yourself?
Do you automatically blame the other guy?
Are you angry?
Are you thinking about your next appointment (which you will be late for)?
Is your first thought to check on the safety of all the people in both cars or are you counting the costs in time and money?
What about the tree falling?
Are you thankful it didn't hit your house or mad that it broke the sidewalk or ruined the shrubbery?
Do you think about who to call and what to do?
Do you make a list of things you will need to do to clean it up?
Are you mad?
Are you thankful that it was only one tree?
What about restocking the pantry?
Easy for some of us but daunting if you just lost your spouse and it was the thing they always did ...
Do you make a list of the things you have always bought or do you make a list of a few new recipes you want to try?
Do you have a favorite grocery store?
Do you like the comfort of knowing where everything is?
What happens when you run into a friend?
What happens if you run into someone you don't like so much?
What do you feel?
Are they any different really?
Your heart speeds up. You wonder what to say. There is a moment of discomfort right before you settle into conversation or the lack of conversation ... a smile or a nod ...
Stopping at the gas station is the same ... Seeing people you know and people you don't know ...
Each person, a trigger for a memory ... a woman could be wearing the same color jacket that your Mom used to wear ... another person might have the same color hair as someone you liked in school ... you might see a car like one you used to have ...
Do you grumble at the price of gas?
Does someone cut you off in traffic?
Does it make you mad? What if the one who made the mistake is you?
Work. The way we pay the bills.
Do you like what you're doing?
Are you doing the thing you dreamed about?
Would you do what you're doing now, even if they didn't pay you?
What about the people you work with?
There are always people we like and others we don't likeso much.
Some customers are a joy to work with.
Other are a real pain!
We are supposed to treat them all the same, but do we really?
You know the nice ones get better service.
Which one are you when you are on the other side of the counter?
Who can even count the fleeting thoughts and memories that pass through our minds as we wander through the day?
How many times has one bad thought or one bad memory completely derailed a day ... Shoot! Even a bad dream could follow me through the day like a cloud full of lightning, just waiting to strike! Learning to quiet those thoughts wasn't a choice ... It was a matter of survival! When the things I worried about got bigger than my life, it was time to take another look at the things I worried about!
The Toltecs called those things that would consume us poison and suggest that eliminating the poison, one negative agreement at a time sets our minds truly free. We can choose to keep your speech impeccable, don't take anything personally, don't make assumptions and always do your best.
The Buddhists talk about simplicity, mindfulness and compassion. We can choose to simplify our lives, consider something from both sides - the side we are now and the side we may be later, consciously accept that where we are is where we are and learn from THIS PLACE so that we can go to the next place, doing all things with COMPASSION for ourselves and for others because we are all connected in ways we can not even imagine.
As a small child, I remember hearing: whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you. (Philippians 4: 8-9)
Is it my imagination or do they all seem to have been saying the same thing? How many times did I have to hear it before I understood? Apparently ... the answer is as many times as it took for me to understand!
I can choose my thoughts. I can choose my actions and reactions. When bad things happen (and they will), I can deal with them (to the best of my ability) before they deal with me! Once again ... I can say ...
God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change ... the COURAGE to change the things I can ... and the WISDOM to know the difference.
(Serenity Prayer)
I always liked this prayer too ...
Lord, make me an instrument of your PEACE.
Where there is hatred ... let me sow LOVE.
Where there is injury ... PARDON.
Where there is doubt ... FAITH.
Where there is despair ... HOPE.
Where there is darkness ... LIGHT.
Where there is sadness ... JOY.
(Prayer of St. Francis)
My dear friend, I hope your path includes Simplicity, Mindfulness, Compassion, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom, Peace, Love, Pardon, Faith, Hope, Light and Joy and much, much more ... Thank you for sharing this part of the path with me!
Love and Light,
Taylor May 08
What if the most disturbing thoughts could be seen as just clouds passing by ... distant fogs way up high ... not designed to pull us down or effect us in any way other than to occasionally block the sun?
Just as the ocean has waves, and the sun has rays, so the mind’s own radiance is its thoughts and emotions. The ocean has waves, yet the ocean is not particularly disturbed by them. The waves are the very nature of the ocean. Waves will rise, but where do they go? Back into the ocean. And where do the waves come from? The ocean.
In the same manner, thoughts and emotions are the radiance and expression of the very nature of the mind. They rise from the mind, but where do they dissolve? Back into the mind. Whatever rises, do not see it as a particular problem. If you do not impulsively react, if you are only patient, it will once again settle into its essential nature.
When you have this understanding, then rising thoughts only enhance your practice. But when you do not understand what they intrinsically are ~ the radiance of the nature of your mind ~ then your thoughts become the seed of confusion. So have a spacious, open, and compassionate attitude toward your
thoughts and emotions, because in fact your thoughts are your family, the family of your mind.
It is in the sky-like nature of our mind. Utterly open, free and limitless, it is fundamentally so simple and so natural that it can never be complicated, corrupted, or stained, so pure that it is beyond even the concept of purity and impurity.
“Once you have the View, you will be like the sky; when a rainbow appears in front of it, it’s not particularly flattered, and when the clouds appear it’s not particularly disappointed either. There is a deep sense of contentment.
~ DILGO KHYENTSE RINPOCHE
My Son announced his interest in Buddhism a few months ago. During my own recovery, I have welcomed thoughts and ideas from many places so with my son's announcement, I took a trip to Barnes and Noble and found the most interesting books ...
I am not sure a Western Mind can fully grasp an Eastern nature but it has been enlightening to look at my world from a different point of view ... Most religions call us to a higher road with different ways of getting there with most people getting much more from their religion than they ever give.
Do you ever wonder, in our Western world, if Jesus would recognize His words in the FAITH most people practice? Sometimes, I wonder what people would think if a man with long hair, a loose robe and leather sandals walked into their church ... How would Jesus be received in His own house? Sometimes, I wonder if "the faithful" have "played post office" with the TRUTH, passing it down from generation to generation, changing the words and their intent every time the story is told?
I am NOT criticizing ... I am just wondering ...
I certainly am NOT analyzing generations of well meaning, God fearing people who could only see God through the filters of their generation ...
BUT
What if Jesus came to your house in your town?
In my life, I have imagined Jesus as a Judge, a Brother, a Teacher, a Confidant, an Advocate and a Friend ... depending on what was going on in my life at the time ... If my experience has been evolving, then perhaps it is the same with other individuals? If individuals make up generations and their consensus creates their larger view ... then, what is wrong with shaking up the view every once in a while?
What happens if we dust off the frame and clean the glass? Would our view be the same?
If Jesus, an enlightened soul, only had a short time to visit my town, I think He would get right to the point! I don't think He would waste His time judging or criticizing or admonishing ... I think He would ignore the little stuff that takes up so much time and cut through the clutter that occupies our mind to say the thing we all want most to hear ... I think He would say,
"I LOVE YOU."
Period. Not I love you because you love me, not I love you because you did this, not I love you because you didn't do that. It wouldn't be about the house we live in or the car we drive or the place we work or the people we hang out with ... It would be Him looking through the fog and touching the deepest place in our hearts with ...
"I LOVE YOU."
May 07
Compassion is a far greater and nobler thing than pity.
Pity has its roots in fear and carries a sense of arrogance and condescension, sometimes even a smug feeling of “I’m glad it’s not me.”
As Stephen Levine says: “When your fear touches someone’s pain it becomes pity; when your love touches someone’s pain, it becomes compassion.”
To train in compassion is to know that all beings are the same and suffer in similar ways, to honor all those who suffer, and to know that you are neither separate from nor superior to anyone.
"Glimpses" by Sogyal Rinpoche
May 05
If I were a water bucket, it would be fair to say that someone tipped my pail a few years back! If Jack and Jill went up the hill, I would be the bucket ... tipped over and useless ... for a little while ...
I can't remember the nursery rhyme's ending but I lived the story of the tipped over pail ...
Of course, I was placed upright ... a little dizzy at first ... afraid of rolling all the way down the hill and being lost and forgotten ... and later, realizing, I'm not going to roll down the hill! The worst had already happened! For a while, I was content to watch everyone else scurry around ... still not able to fill myself up ...
Life filled me up!
I didn't even realize it was happening.
To keep myself busy, I repainted a few rooms and rearranged the furniture and my house became a newer place to call home.
I mowed the grass and planted flowers and fed the birds and my yard turned into a peaceful garden.
I took pictures of friends and family and put the prettiest ones on my refrigerator. There they still are among coupons and recipes and children's drawings and lots of ladybug magnets ... smiling faces from loved ones during fun times in the past three years.
If each picture is worth a thousand words, there are volumes of happy thoughts and well wishes in plain sight for everyone to see, each one a celebration of life ... a drop in the bucket ... but a life changing drop, just the same!
The dew ... an occasional rain ... even a few tears ... and the bucket that was me ... filled up!
How and when it happened
I don't think I'll ever know ...
But that it happened even once
Can be a source of HOPE!
I am not any more deserving
Than any one of you.
Anyone can do it
When there's nothing left to do.
If you're feeling empty,
Like nothing can fill you up ...
Hold on tight and live your life.
LIFE will fill you up!
Love and Light,
Taylor
May 04
ONE SAFE PLACE(Marc Cohn Lyrics)
How many roads you’ve traveled
How many dreams you’ve chased
Across sand and sky and gravel
Looking for one safe place
Will you make a smoother landing
When you break your fall from grace
Into the arms of understanding
Looking for one safe place
Life is trial by fire
And love’s the sweetest taste
And I pray it lifts us higher
To one safe place
How many roads we’ve traveled
How many dreams we’ve chased
Across sand and sky and gravel
Looking for one safe place
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