• What are the feelings that you associate with the word trauma?
• What are the feelings that cause intense fear for you?
• Have you felt totally helpless?  When?
• Have you ever felt out of control?
• Have you ever felt in danger of complete destruction?
• How have you handled those feelings before?

• Change the locks on your doors and windows.
• Install an alarm system.
• Add window bars.
• Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers.
• Put up motion detector lights outside.
• Buy a dog. 
• Teach your children how to call collect, in case they are taken by your partner.
• Tell your children's teachers at school, daycare or Sunday school who is allowed to pick them up -- and who can NOT take them.
• Tell your friends, family, neighbors, that your partner no longer lives there and they should call the police if they see him.  

• If you feel comfortable, tell your boss and co-workers.  Your office may set up a safety policy.
• Post your protection order.
• Tell your co-workers to call the police if they see your batterer at the workplace.
• Show them his picture.
• Ask co-workers not to tell where you are if anyone they don't know comes to the workplace or calls.
• Ask someone to screen your calls.
• Keep your office locked if you can.
• Plan an escape route if your partner comes to work.
• Work when other people are there, never alone.
• Vary your route and the times you go to work.  

• Vary or change any routine your partner may be familiar with. 
• Change grocery stores, banks (or the branch you normally go to) and day cares.
• Go out during the busiest times.
• Have people you trust walk you to and from your car.
• Take someone with you.
• Carry a whistle.
• Take a self defense class.
• Program the police, help line or friend on your cell phone.
• Keep your cell phone with you at all times. 

Those are all symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress and you can get help for that.  Let me explain. 


What is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Post-traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder that's triggered by your memories of a traumatic event — an event that directly affected you or an event that you witnessed.

• Post Traumatic Stress Disorder may develop following exposure to extreme trauma.
• Extreme trauma is a terrifying event or ordeal that a person has experienced, witnessed or learned about, especially one that is life-threatening or causes physical harm. It can be a single event or repeated experience.
• The experience causes that person to feel intense fear, horror or a sense of helplessness.
• The stress caused by trauma can affect all aspects of a person’s life, including mental, emotional and physical well-being.
• Research suggests that prolonged trauma may disrupt and alter brain chemistry. For some people, this may lead to the development of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Not everyone involved in a traumatic event experiences post-traumatic stress disorder. However, the disorder affects more than 5 million adults each year in the United States. You or someone you know may experience trauma at some time in your life!  Learning about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can help you: Cope with Trauma and / or help others.

Signs and Symptoms

Signs and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder typically appear within three months of the traumatic event. However, in some instances, they may not occur until years after the event and may include:

• Flashbacks and distressing dreams associated with the traumatic event.
• Distress at anniversaries of the trauma.
• Efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings and activities associated with the trauma.
• Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others and an inability to have loving feelings.
• Markedly diminished interest or participation in activities that once were an important source of satisfaction.
• In young children, delayed or developmental retrogression in such areas as toilet training, motor skills and language.
• Hopelessness about the future — no hope of a family life, career or living to old age.
• Physical and psychological hypersensitivity — not present before the trauma — with at least two of the following reactions: trouble sleeping, anger, difficulty concentrating, exaggerated startle response to noise, and physiological reaction to situations that remind you of the traumatic event. These physiological reactions may include an increase in blood pressure, a rapid heart rate, rapid breathing, muscle tension, nausea and diarrhea.

• Anxiety
• Avoiding anything that reminds the survivor of the incident
• Insomnia
• Recurrent memories, or flashbacks of the trauma
• Irritability
• Difficulty concentrating or focusing
• Feeling numb
• Hyper-vigilance (feeling "on guard" all the time)
• Survivor guilt
• Lack of interest in family, friends or hobbies
• Nightmares
• Jumpiness (especially at loud or sudden noises)
• Restlessness
• They may also suffer from depression, blame themselves or become suicidal
• Overwhelming emotions
• Feeling as though they are "going crazy"
• Fear "something bad" will happen
• Difficulty sleeping

(The info above is from a booklet about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder put out by Blount Memorial Hospital in Maryville, Tennessee)


Who's at risk for developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Those who can be effected by PTSD include:

• Anyone who has been victimized or has witnessed a violent act or who has been repeatedly exposed to a life-threatening situation.
  
• Survivors of:
• Car accidents or fires
• Natural disasters, such as tornadoes or earthquakes
• Major Catastrophic events such as a plane crash or terrorist act
• Disasters caused by human error such as industrial accidents
   
• Survivors of unexpected events in everyday life:
• Children who are neglected or sexually, physically or verbally abused or adults who were abused as children
• Combat veterans or civilian victims of war
• Those diagnosed with a life-threatening illness or who have undergone invasive medical procedures
• Professionals who respond to victims in trauma situations such as emergency medical service workers, police, firefighters, military, and search and rescue workers
• People who learn of the sudden, unexpected death of a close friend or relative

The severity of the traumatic event and how long the event lasted appear to be factors in the development of this disorder. Other factors that may increase the likelihood of developing post-traumatic stress disorder include:

• A previous history of depression or other emotional disorder
• A previous history of physical or sexual abuse
• A family history of anxiety
• Early separation from parents
• Being part of a dysfunctional family
• Alcohol abuse
• Drug abuse

It's normal to undergo a wide range of feelings and emotions after a traumatic event. The feelings you experience may include fear and anxiety, a lack of focus, sadness, changes in sleeping or eating patterns, or bouts of crying that come easily. You may have recurrent thoughts or nightmares about the event. If you have these disturbing feelings for more than a month, if they're severe or if you feel you're having trouble getting your life back under control, consider seeing your doctor or a mental health professional.

Your doctor or mental health professional likely will ask you to describe the signs and symptoms you're experiencing — what they are, when they occur, how intense they are and how long they last. This will help your doctor or therapist learn more about your condition. Your doctor may also ask you to describe the event that triggered your symptoms to try to get a sense of how intense the event was and how it affected you. You may encounter some of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after a traumatic event, but you may not necessarily have a diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder. Diagnosing the condition requires that the symptoms be present longer than one month.

Having post-traumatic stress disorder may place you at higher risk for:

• Depression, which has many of the same signs and symptoms as post-traumatic stress disorder
• Drug abuse
• Alcohol abuse
• Eating disorders
• Divorce

Your doctor or a mental health professional may suggest a combination of medications and behavior therapy to treat post-traumatic stress disorder. The objectives of treatment are to reduce your emotional distress and the associated disturbances to your sleep and daily functioning, and to help you better cope with the event that triggered the disorder.

Coping skills

If distress caused by a past traumatic event persistently affects your life, seeing your doctor is a necessary first step along a course of professional treatment.

But you can take actions to help yourself cope:

• Follow your doctor's instructions carefully. Although it may take a while to feel the effects of therapy, hang in there. You'll be better off in the long run.
• Take care of yourself. Get enough rest, eat a balanced diet, exercise, and take time to relax. Avoid caffeine and nicotine, which can worsen anxiety. Don't turn to alcohol or un-prescribed drugs for relief.
• Break the cycle. When you feel anxious, take a brisk walk or delve into a hobby to refocus.
• Talk to someone. Share your problems with a friend or counselor who can help you gain perspective. Ask your doctor about support groups in your area for people who have post-traumatic stress disorder.

Recovery Takes Time

Survivors recover in stages.  They may start with one stage, go to another, and go back.  Each person processes the event his or her own way. 

PTSD symptoms usually appear within several weeks of the trauma, but some people don't experience symptoms until months, even years, later. PTSD can last six months for some people while others may experience symptoms for much longer. Again, it is important to understand that people respond differently to trauma. Some people will have a few problems, and these problems may go away without treatment. Others will need support and some kind of treatment before they can move forward with their lives. 

1. Denial that the abuse had any effect on their lives. 
2. Fear it will happen again. 
3. Feel sad because of a loss of their ability to trust in people, or places. 
4. Anger at what happened. 
5. Anxiety over the nightmares or flashbacks that may intrude on the life of the survivor. 
6. Feel as if a part of themselves died during the abuse.

Survivors are not to blame for the crime
committed to them by another person.

We cannot control the actions of another person!  We can control what we do after we have been hurt.  We can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and get help.  We can take care of ourselves.  We can take as much time as we need to recover and heal because the results have to last the rest of our lives!  

Take Care Of YOU!

Dr. Carnes says, "There is always something kind, noble or redeeming about someone who has betrayed you.  Victims of betrayal will hold to those good things even while the world crashes in around them."  My world was crashing in around me when I found this book.  The book is 11.95 and available on-line or at any bookstore.  The 144 questions starting on page 37 are worth the 12.00!  There was a post traumatic stress self-test on page 37 that was helpful ... I took it.  I answered the questions honestly.  I was surprised at my own answers and the results.  Sometimes, we have no choice but to face reality ... 

This is where I was at ... Now, what was I going to do about it?

BETRAYAL BOND

Breaking Free Of Exploitive Relationships
by Patrick J. Carnes, Ph.D.  

Betrayal.  A breach of trust.  Fear.  What you thought was true - counted on to be true - was not.  It was just smoke and mirrors, outright deceit and lies.  Sometimes it was hard to tell because there was enough truth to make everything seem right.  Even a little truth with just the right spin can cover the outrageous ...   

Betrayal.  You can't explain it away anymore.  A pattern exists.  You know that now.  You can no longer return to the way it was (which was never really what it seemed).  That would be unbearable.  But to move forward means certain pain.  No escape.  No in-between.  Choices have to be made today, not tomorrow.  The usual ways you numb yourself will not work.  The reality is too great, too relentless.  

Betrayal.  A form of abandonment.  Often the abandonment is difficult to see because the betrayer can be still close, even intimate, or maybe intruding in your life.  Yet your interests, your well-being is continually sacrificed.

Abandonment is at the core of addictions.  Abandonment causes deep shame.  Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect.  Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving.  If severe enough, it is traumatic.  What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror.  If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your bodily systems shift to an alarm state.  You no longer feel safe. 

You're on full alert, just waiting for the hurt to begin again.  In that state of readiness, you're unaware that a part of you has died.  You are grieving.  Like everyone who has loss, you have shock and disbelief, fear, loneliness and sadness.  Yet, you are unaware of these feelings because your guard is up. 

In your readiness, you abandon yourself.  Yes, another abandonment.  

But that is not the worst.  The worst is a mind-numbing, highly addictive attachment to the people who have hurt you.  You may even try to explain and help them understand what they are doing - convert them to non-abusers.  You may even blame yourself, your defects, your failed efforts.  You strive to do better as your life slips away in a swirl of intensity.  These attachments cause you to distrust your own judgment, distort your own realities and place yourself at even greater risk.  The great irony?  You are bracing yourself against further hurt.  The result?  The guarantee of more pain.  These attachments have a name.  They are called betrayal bonds.  These occur when a victim bonds with someone who is destructive to her. 

Adult survivors of abuse and dysfunctional families struggle with bond that are rooted in their own betrayal experiences.  Loyalty to that which does not work, or worse, to a person who is toxic, exploitive or destructive to you is a form of insanity.

Betrayal Bond?

• When everyone around you has strong negative reactions, yet you continue covering up, defending or explaining a relationship.
• When there is a constant pattern of nonperformance and yet you continue to believe false promises.
• When there are repetitive, destructive fights that nobody wins.
• When others are horrified by something that has happened to you and you are not.
• When you obsess over showing someone that he or she is wrong about you, your relationship or the person's treatment of you.
• When you feel stuck because you know what the other person is doing is destructive but believe you cannot do anything about it.
• When you feel loyal to someone even though you harbor secrets that are damaging to others.
• When you move closer to someone you know is destructive to you with the desire of converting them to a non-abuser.
• When someone's talents, charisma or contributions cause you to overlook destructive, exploitive or degrading acts.
• When you cannot detach from someone even though you do not trust, like or care for the person.
• When you find yourself missing a relationship, even to the point of nostalgia and longing, that was so awful, it almost destroyed you.
• When extraordinary demands are placed upon you to measure up as a way to cover up that you have been exploited.
• When you keep secret someone's destructive behavior toward you because of all the good they have done or the importance of their position or career.
• When the history of your relationship is about contracts or promises that have been broken and that you are asked to overlook.

If you are reading this book (or journal), a clear betrayal has probably happened in your life.  Chances are that you have also bonded with the person or persons who have let you down.  Now, here is the important part:

YOU WILL NEVER MEND
THE WOUND WITHOUT DEALING
WITH THE BETRAYAL BOND.

Like gravity, you may defy it for a while, but ultimately it will pull you back.  You cannot walk away from it.  Time alone will not heal it.  Burying yourself in compulsive and addictive behaviors will bring no relief, just more pain.  Being crazy will not make it better.  No amount of therapy, long-term or short-term, will help without confronting it.  Your ability to have a spiritual experience will be impaired.  Any form of conversion or starting over only postpones the inevitable.  And there is no credit for feeling sorry for yourself.  You must acknowledge, understand and come to terms with the relationship.

Betrayal can bring forth every issue, secret and unfinished business a person has, all of which are important.  Further, fear and crisis are often part of the scene.  So the immediate problems come first.  As a result, the betrayal bond itself may be ignored.

Signs that trauma bonds exist in your life:

• When you obsess about people who have hurt you and they are long gone (obsess means preoccupied, fantasize about and wonder about even though you do not want to).
• When you continue to seek contact with people who you know will cause you further pain.
• When you go "overboard" to help people who have been destructive to you.
• When you continue being a "team" member when obviously things are becoming destructive.
• When you continue attempts to get people who are clearly using you to like you.
• When you again and again trust people who have proved to be unreliable.
• When you are unable to distance yourself from unhealthy relationships.
• When you want to be understood by those who clearly do not care.
• When you choose to stay in conflict with others when it would cost you nothing to walk away.
• When you persist in trying to convince people that there is a problem and they are not willing to listen.
• When you are loyal to people who have betrayed you.
• When you are attracted to untrustworthy people.
• When you keep damagingsecrets about exploitation or abuse.
• When you continue contact with an abuser who acknowledges no responsibility.

The answer is in the same way other addictions work. The criteria for addiction are the following:

1. Compulsivity: loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or continue a behavior.
2. Continuation of the behavior despite adverse consequences such as loss of health, job, marriage or freedom.
3. Obsession with the behavior.  

Betrayal, addiction and trauma weave a design of continually recycled wounds that create an overarching pattern of compulsive relationships.

11 ways that trauma bonds are made stronger:

1. when there are repetitive cycles of abuse.
2. when the victim and the victimizer believe in their own uniqueness.
3. when high intensity is mistaken for intimacy.
4. when there is confusion about love.
5. when there are increasing amounts of fear.
6. when children are faced with terror.
7. when there is a history of abuse.
8. when exploitation endures over time.
9. when the community, family or social structure reacts in the extremes.
10. when there is a familiar role and script to be fulfilled.
11. when victims and victimizers switch rolesof rescue and abuse.

For successful recovery, the victim has to be able to break through denial and see the compulsive patterns for what they are ... When you live with someone dangerous, you learn to keep the waters smooth.  Thus there exists a web of rules against anger and a deep, almost preverbal, primitive fear of holding an abuser accountable ... Every person who has experienced compulsive relationship behavior has had consequences because of that behavior. 

You certainly should have felt anger, maybe even enough anger that you are determined to change your patterns ... No more will you disbelieve the obvious and believe the improbable.  In the future, your anger will make you intolerant of being exploited and used ... You may also have feelings of sadness, loss and regret.  Knowing your own hurt and expressing that hurt is critical to healing.  First of all the sadness moves the survivor beyond the anger.  Sometimes, those in trauma bonds hold on to the anger as a way to stay connected to the abuser. 

An example would be the divorcing couple who start off expressing their anger and telling stories about why they are angry to all their friends.  One partner, however, moves beyond that point and realizes, that she, too, has significant responsibility for what happened.  This partner learns from her experiences and goes on to reconstruct her life.  The other partner stays stuck in the anger, and years later is still telling the blaming stories to anyone who will listen. 

That partner has used anger to stay in the relationship, and is probably too scared to accept the pain of loss.

By blaming the other for the problems in his life, the blaming partner can prevent the actual acceptance of the loss of the relationship or the losses caused by the relationship.  HEALTHY anger expresses limitations.  BLAMING anger recycles the history of betrayal and all the intense feelings that are a part of a trauma bond. 

It (anger and blaming) is a negative way to keep the old person around. 

To finally grieve means to accept that your life did not turn out the way you wanted, the way you deserved or the way it should have.  Those who are trauma bonded have to accept not only the reality of compulsive relationships but also the accumulated losses in their lives going back to whatever created the original working model for relationships.  

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,
THE COURAGE
TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,
AND THE WISDOM
TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

They were able to transform suffering into meaning!  I believe survivors of any form of abuse have that essential task.  Out of the incredible pain comes clarity of belief and depth of purpose.  They become people of substance, with no more tolerance of living in the lie.  They know evil for what it is and arm themselves with rituals that keep meaning close to their hearts.  They have a high regard for that which connects, and reject all that divides or hides.  Inescapable pain creates enduring honesty and accountability.

Do you want things to be different?

Trauma bonds can be disrupted when healthy bonds are available ... Finding supportive healthy relationships is the foundation of recovery ... Support is the ground floor of any recovery effort ... People who specialize in helping these survivors with their trauma have found that the first part of recovery is to give a detailed description of what happened to a sympathetic audience ... By telling their story, they are "reunited" with other humans who care for them.  It now means something to survive.

Dr. Carnes offers several good exercises in his book that will help take you consciously through recovery.  You can take your time thinking about the questions and how you will answer.  You can work on your recovery at your own pace.

Recovery?  

There really isn't a better choice, you know?  If you were hiking in the wilderness and broke your leg, you would have to DO SOMETHING.  You couldn't just get up and walk away, pretending nothing happened!  Even after you tended to the leg, you would have to make changes in your routine and give your leg time to heal. 

There are no shortcuts.
You can't rush the healing.

In fact, no one really knows exactly when we will be totally healed because everyone heals differently.  Just because life has been this painful so far doesn't mean it has to keep hurting.  Life doesn't have to hurt so much, and it won't - if we begin to change.  It may not be all roses from here on out, but it doesn't have to be all thorns either.  We need to and can develop our own lives.

Getting our balance and keeping it once we have found it is what recovery is all about.  If that sounds like a big order, don't worry. 

We can do it! 

We can learn to live again.

"I rejoice that America has resisted."
William Pitt's speech against the Stamp Act:

Gentlemen, Sir,
I have been charged with giving birth to sedition in America. They have spoken their sentiments with freedom against this unhappy act, and that freedom has become their crime.
(passage omitted)
Much is wrong; much may be amended for the general good of the whole ... But on this ground, on the Stamp Act, when so many here will think a crying injustice, I am one who will lift up my hands against it ... 
The Americans have not acted in all things with prudence and temper. They have been wronged. They have been driven to madness by injustice.
Upon the whole, I will beg leave to tell the House what is really my opinion. It is, that the Stamp Act be repealed absolutely, totally, and immediately.

"Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death!"

Delegate Patrick Henry addressed himself to the Convention's president, Peyton Randolph of Williamsburg. Henry's words were not transcribed, but no one who heard them forgot their eloquence, or Henry's closing words: "Give me liberty, or give me death!"

St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia
March 23, 1775.

MR. PRESIDENT: No man thinks more highly than I do of the patriotism, as well as abilities, of the very worthy gentlemen who have just addressed the House. But different men often see the same subject in different lights; and, therefore, I hope it will not be thought disrespectful to those gentlemen if, entertaining as I do, opinions of a character very opposite to theirs, I shall speak forth my sentiments freely, and without reserve. This is no time for ceremony. The question before the House is one of awful moment to this country. For my own part, I consider it as nothing less than a question of freedom or slavery; and in proportion to the magnitude of the subject ought to be the freedom of the debate. It is only in this way that we can hope to arrive at truth, and fulfil the great responsibility which we hold to God and our country. Should I keep back my opinions at such a time, through fear of giving offence, I should consider myself as guilty of treason towards my country, and of an act of disloyalty toward the majesty of heaven, which I revere above all earthly kings.

Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the number of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst, and to provide for it.

I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided; and that is the lamp of experience. I know of no way of judging of the future but by the past. And judging by the past, I wish to know what there has been in the conduct of the British ministry for the last ten years, to justify those hopes with which gentlemen have been pleased to solace themselves, and the House? Is it that insidious smile with which our petition has been lately received? Trust it not, sir; it will prove a snare to your feet. Suffer not yourselves to be betrayed with a kiss. Ask yourselves how this gracious reception of our petition comports with these war-like preparations which cover our waters and darken our land. Are fleets and armies necessary to a work of love and reconciliation? Have we shown ourselves so unwilling to be reconciled, that force must be called in to win back our love? Let us not deceive ourselves, sir. These are the implements of war and subjugation; the last arguments to which kings resort. I ask, gentlemen, sir, what means this martial array, if its purpose be not to force us to submission? Can gentlemen assign any other possible motive for it? Has Great Britain any enemy, in this quarter of the world, to call for all this accumulation of navies and armies? No, sir, she has none. They are meant for us; they can be meant for no other. They are sent over to bind and rivet upon us those chains which the British ministry have been so long forging. And what have we to oppose to them? Shall we try argument? Sir, we have been trying that for the last ten years. Have we anything new to offer upon the subject? Nothing. We have held the subject up in every light of which it is capable; but it has been all in vain. Shall we resort to entreaty and humble supplication? What terms shall we find which have not been already exhausted? Let us not, I beseech you, sir, deceive ourselves. Sir, we have done everything that could be done, to avert the storm which is now coming on. We have petitioned; we have remonstrated; we have supplicated; we have prostrated ourselves before the throne, and have implored its interposition to arrest the tyrannical hands of the ministry and Parliament. Our petitions have been slighted; our remonstrances have produced additional violence and insult; our supplications have been disregarded; and we have been spurned, with contempt, from the foot of the throne. In vain, after these things, may we indulge the fond hope of peace and reconciliation. There is no longer any room for hope. If we wish to be free² if we mean to preserve inviolate those inestimable privileges for which we have been so long contending²if we mean not basely to abandon the noble struggle in which we have been so long engaged, and which we have pledged ourselves never to abandon until the glorious object of our contest shall be obtained, we must fight! I repeat it, sir, we must fight! An appeal to arms and to the God of Hosts is all that is left us!

They tell us, sir, that we are weak; unable to cope with so formidable an adversary. But when shall we be stronger? Will it be the next week, or the next year? Will it be when we are totally disarmed, and when a British guard shall be stationed in every house? Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance, by lying supinely on our backs, and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot? Sir, we are not weak if we make a proper use of those means which the God of nature hath placed in our power. Three millions of people, armed in the holy cause of liberty, and in such a country as that which we possess, are invincible by any force which our enemy can send against us. Besides, sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God who presides over the destinies of nations; and who will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable and let it come! I repeat it, sir, let it come.

It is in vain, sir, to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace but there is no peace. The war is actually begun! The next gale that sweeps from the north will bring to our ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776, A DECLARATION BY THE REPRESENTATIVES OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, IN GENERAL CONGRESS ASSEMBLED.

When in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness--That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness ... 
The History of the present King of Great-Britain is a History of repeated Injuries and Usurpations, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States.
... (portions have been omitted, not for their lack of importance but in the interest of brevity) ... 
For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent ... 
... We, therefore, the Representatives of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, in GENERAL CONGRESS, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the World for the Rectitude of our Intentions, do, in the Name, and by the Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly Publish and Declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES ... and that as FREE AND INDEPENDENT STATES, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which INDEPENDENT STATES may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the Protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Signed by ORDER and in BEHALF of the CONGRESS,
JOHN HANCOCK, PRESIDENT.
ATTEST.
CHARLES THOMSON, SECRETARY.
PHILADELPHIA: PRINTED BY JOHN DUNLAP

Sources: The Library of Congress, Journals of the Continental Congress; The Declaration of Independence and What it Means Today, by Edward Dumbauld (The University of Oklahoma Press, Norman) 1950.

Summary

The colonists' disappointment began shortly after the French and Indian War ended in 1763, when the British government tried to reduce the debt incurred during the war by collecting additional taxes and gaining more control over the colonies.
The Stamp Act of 1765 was one such measure. It created an excise tax on newspapers, customs documents, licenses, college diplomas, and most legal documents.
Nine colonial legislatures officially expressed their objections to this British tax, and civil disobedience to this Act was rampant throughout the colonies. The Stamp Act became increasingly unenforceable, and in March 1766 Parliament revoked it.
Despite the repeal of the Stamp Act, underlying philosophical differences remained. The British wanted the colonists to pay the greater part of the cost of royal government in the colonies, whereas the colonists resisted imperial taxation and limits on self-government.
The Boston Tea Party of 1773 and the punitive British response solidified colonial fears that the Crown was attempting to limit traditional English liberties throughout North America. In response to these events, the first Continental Congress assembled in Philadelphia in 1774.
The delegates summarized their principles and demands in the Declaration of Rights, which conceded to Parliament the power to regulate colonial commerce, but argued that parliamentary efforts to impose taxes, enforce laws through admiralty courts, suspend assemblies, and unilaterally revoke charters were unconstitutional.
After these incidents, a break from England had become a distinct possibility (although still not a certainty.)
By July 1775, battles in what eventually became known as the American Revolution had already taken place in Massachusetts: Concord and Lexington in April, Bunker Hill in June. Despite this ominous turn of events, not all parties saw the Revolution as inevitable. For example, a majority of the second Continental Congress, which began meeting in May 1775, still opposed independence. Even Samuel Adams, among the most radical of the colonists, described himself as "fond of reconciliation."
In July 1775 the colonists' opinions were divided.
King George III declared the colonies in rebellion on August 23, 1775 ...

Politics in Colonial Virginia from the Colonial Williamsburg web-site